Life felt simpler in my early thirties. I had no children, a job that stayed at the workplace, and falling asleep was simple. In the past, whenever someone I was aware of had a newborn or faced difficulties, I would arrive with home-cooked dishes, personal notes, and kind gifts. I thought that is how support seemed polished, profuse, worthy of Pinterest.
Then felt motherhood within. My first child was born, and another came along when the first was only two years old. The second experienced colic. Without a doubt, it was the most challenging season of my life.
During that time, I stopped helping others like before. Not because I was different; I truly was, but because I believed I had nothing “worthy enough” to give. I believed that if I could not accomplish it flawlessly, I should not attempt it. I see now that I was.
Currently, I am in my mid-thirties and have three young sons. We live in a small house, actually a real tiny house, and life is ideally excited. I have discovered something important through all of this: simply be present.
When your friend knows how to handle a loss, welcomes a child, or goes through a tough time, she does not require a flawless assignment. She requires presence.
I recall a night recently when a dear friend faced one of the roughest periods of her life. I received the call at 6 p.m. I put on incompatible socks and sandals, left my children with my husband, and headed to her home without makeup, dirty hair, and a marked sweatshirt.
I entered, gave her a hug, filled her dishwasher, read a bedtime story to her children, folded the laundry, and neatened the guest bathroom. We sat, we drank tea, ande talked later. In the past, I might have dedicated an hour to preparing a barbecue or attempting to appear presentable. Yet that evening, she did not require flawlessness. She required me to be authentic, genuine, and present.
Caring does not need fixing they just need being there is enough. Let’s not hold off until everything appears perfect. The individuals in our lives require us just as we are at this moment.
