It was just a regular day at church when their love story began five years ago. Emmanuel approached her first, and although she remembers little about their first conversation, she clearly remembers finding him attractive. It was unexpected how they both became inseparable as time passed, and no matter who she was with, the conversations were now all about Emmanuel. Probably, this is how love looks!
She loved so much about that man, from his physical features to how his personality was shaped. Still, one trait that could not be ignored was the cultural aspect integrated into her life after Emmanuel became a significant part of it.
Growing up in a low-key family, attending a private school, and having little to no exposure to racism, she was privileged. But when she met Emmanuel, the differences in their upbringing and environments did not matter. Blending cultures, welcoming new people, and exploring more fascinated her, and she always figured out new ways to celebrate the differences.
However, her positive mindset made her ignore the fact that the world does not see things through your eyes. Although she did a great job adapting to the environment and accepting things, the racism she received in return was too much to handle.
She recalls how, when she told one of her dear friends about how she was madly in love with Emmanuel, the friend insisted on seeing the picture, and the reaction left her speechless. The following questions were about whether he was poor or lived in a mud hut. The friend couldn’t be blamed for this situation, as it is how society has shaped our minds. The difference seems to keep growing rather than people learning the art of acceptance. After the hurt she received from her friend, she chose never to see the friend again to protect her relationship and the love of her life.
It was a dreamy day when Emmanuel finally proposed to her two years after they met. It was the day she had waited for a long time. The proposal was dreamy on a hilltop that overlooked Auckland, and Emmanuel even hired a photographer to take the most perfect pictures.
Everything seemed perfect that day until they went out to have food. The waiter slammed the menu in front of him and placed hers gently. The difference and the hatred were clear. All these years, she stood beside him and protected him from every single action that could cause hurt and disappointment, and her efforts did not go in vain, as they chose to marry in February 2018.
The day was as beautiful as the love they shared, and the highlight was that guests at the reception chose to wear similar African outfits.
The blend of cultures on their wedding day made it perfect. Later, the couple also traveled to Togo and Ghana to meet Emmanuel’s grandma, who couldn’t be present on the wedding day. Everyone welcomed the couple with open arms, and because Emmanuel was raised in New Zealand, he never had a sense of belonging anywhere, even in places where his extended family resides.
The couple welcomed a beautiful baby, and to honour Emmenuel’s background, they decided to name her Shiloh Afiwa, which means ‘Friday’ in Ghana. Even at the birthing center, Emmanuel asked where he belonged when she called the midwife at 4 a.m..
Although questioning cultures and identities may be a societal norm, their impact is significant. It’s high time that we all play a role as individuals to model love, as the victims should not spend their lives learning to respond to racism with grace.
