“After seven and a half years of infertility and loss, my husband and I longed to become parents. We explored different options and felt pulled toward adopting through foster care. Exceeding 100,000 children in the U.S. waiting to be adopted, it felt like where we were meant to be.
We got licensed and began searching on the AdoptUSKids website. One day, I saw him a four-year-old boy with bright blue eyes and fiery red hair. He looked like he could be ours he looked like me. I sent his photo to friends and family and asked for prayers.
Then the call came: we wouldn’t be considered. He was in South Dakota; we were in New York. They hoped for a local placement. Still, I begged the caseworker to review our home study we were both special education teachers, and I knew we could give him the love and support he deserved.
Days later, the caseworker called back. After seeing our picture, she agreed he was meant to be a Dougherty. We were chosen. My dream of becoming a mother was finally coming true.
We flew to South Dakota in June 2010. Sitting in the caseworker’s office, I was nervous until the moment he ran in, shouting “DAD!” and then looked at me, smiling wide, and yelled, “MOM!” I’ll never forget that moment.
We later learned Alex’s birth mother had surrendered him while facing bipolar depression and abuse. She wished for him to enjoy an improved life. Though we didn’t meet her then, Alex missed her deeply. He’d cry for her at night, asking questions we didn’t know how to answer. We thought she’d chosen a closed adoption, but years later, we found out she hadn’t realized open adoption was even an option.
A friend suggested we search for her. With a bit of searching, we located her on Facebook. Anxious yet optimistic, I messaged her: “We’re the family who adopted your son, Alex. He’s amazing, and we’re so grateful to have him.” To my surprise, she replied. She was thrilled to hear from us she’d never stopped wondering about him.
Soon, she and Alex began texting and calling. One evening, I found a round-trip ticket for $300. I asked if she could come. She said yes.
We surprised Alex. I told him his birthday gift was in the van. When he saw her, he froze. “Mom?” he murmured, then dashed into her embrace, weeping The missing piece of his heart was whole again.
They spent four beautiful days together talking, laughing, catching up. Their connection was instant, undeniable. Afterward, we helped Alex process everything. He came to understand that her decision came from love, not abandonment. That understanding brought him peace.
Alex is now 14, full of kindness, empathy, and joy. His birth mom credits me, but his golden heart came from her. I’m simply fortunate to assist in molding it
Adoption doesn’t erase the past but it can create something unimaginably beautiful from it.
