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Birthdays are frequently portrayed as happy occasions marked with festivities, joy, and the comforting hug of loved ones. Happy postings and well-wishes flood social media feeds, creating an almost universally shared image of joy and beauty. On my birthday, though, I find myself sitting here struggling with a very different reality. I don’t feel beautiful today, and what is usually considered to be a day of celebration has been clouded by the lack of good wishes.
There was a deep silence, almost a sense of emptiness, inside my heart, despite the busy, typical sounds and activity of the outside world. I was expecting to see a reflection that would be radiant and joyful, but all I saw was something mundane and unexceptional. It felt like a faraway dream, that today should be different, that I should feel remarkable in some way.
The lack of birthday greetings started to get to me as the hours went by. I had hoped for at least a few encouraging remarks from people who know me, but not a tonne of texts or lavish gestures. The quiet was oppressive. The identical void appeared on my phone every time I checked it, serving as a constant reminder that I was alone. The absence of virtual acknowledgements felt like a personal slight, a hint that maybe I was forgotten or disregarded in a society where digital connections frequently take the place of in-person encounters.
It’s simple to slide into feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt at times like these. I wondered why I felt so alone on this supposed to be special day. Was it my fault that nobody made contact with me? Was it my fault that I didn’t foster the ties that could have guaranteed a chorus of happy birthdays? Or was it just my own self-fulfilling prophecy of invisibility, a mirror of my own emotions of inadequacy?
The sentiments of not being acknowledged and valued on a day this important are exacerbated by expectations and standards set by society. Birthdays, we are frequently told, should be a time of joy and celebration, when we feel loved and appreciated. In actuality, though, a lot of us don’t always feel that way. The feeling of not being recognised on our birthdays might be exacerbated by the obligation to live up to a standard of joy and beauty.
But as the day went on, I started to think about the experience’s greater meaning. Maybe my sentiments of being ignored had more to do with my own internal battles with self-worth and self-image than with the absence of birthday wishes. The truth is, my inherent worth does not decrease in the absence of outside affirmation. A person’s value is independent of how many birthday cards they get or how attractive they think they are on any given day.
After giving it some thought, I came to the conclusion that, although significant, birthdays do not determine our value or attractiveness. They serve as a reminder that time is passing, a prompt to consider the path we’ve taken, and a chance to make plans for the future. My value is not based on superficial beauty standards or approval from others. It is characterised by the love I offer, the kindness I exhibit, and the strength I exemplify.
Rather of looking to others for approval, I decided to enjoy today in a different way. I made the effort to accept and value who I am, not what other people might think of me. I lavished myself with tiny gestures of love and self-care, treating myself with the same consideration that I would give to a close friend. I reminded myself that loving oneself is independent of approval from others and that it’s acceptable to feel flawed.
Ultimately, this birthday has been a voyage of acceptance and self-discovery. It has shown me that although looking for approval and a sense of belonging is normal, real fulfilment originates from inside. My value or beauty is not diminished by the lack of birthday wishes. Rather, it has given me the chance to think about what really matters and to love and accept myself regardless of the situation outside of myself.
Thus, as the day comes to an end, I find solace in the peaceful stillness. Even though it may not have included all of the festivities I had planned, today has nonetheless been a day of self-acceptance and personal development. And that is a gift in and of itself, one that I will be able to keep with me forever.