My husband Jeff and I had been married for almost three years before we had our first child. We always knew we wanted to be parents and finally felt ready. In 2014, we welcomed our first daughter, Kenley. She was everything we dreamed of. Just 17 months later, in 2015, her little sister Blake was born. She was just as perfect, calm, pleasant, and gentle. We lovingly called her “Blake.”
Life was busy with a newborn and a toddler, but it was also joyful and full of love. That peace did not last long. We started noticing something was not quite right. Blake could not hold her head up on her own. When we mentioned it to her doctor, we were told, “She just needs more practice.” But deep down, we knew something was wrong.
After months of searching for answers, Blake was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type I, the most severe type. The doctors said they couldn’t fix it. No treatment. It was terminal.
Hearing those words broke us. The fear, the pain, the helplessness, it was crushing. We asked ourselves endless questions, but there were no answers. Still, we knew we had to keep going, for both our girls. So we chose joy wherever we could find it. Parks, beaches, trips, anything that brought us smiles and memories.
I will always remember those quiet nights, holding Blake in my arms while she slept. I would watch her for hours, partly out of fear, but mostly because she was beautiful and perfect. I knew we were meant to be together, even for a short time.
Blake was gone just days before we could celebrate her turning one.. She died in Jeff’s arms, at the park, listening to music. It broke our hearts when she died. Nothing had ever hurt us like that. For a long time, I felt like I was drowning in grief. Without my family’s support, I do not know how we would have survived.
Just six weeks later, we found out I was pregnant. It was a surprise and made us scared, but it also gave us hope.
Tests showed our new baby did not have SMA. Our third daughter, Ayla, was born 11 months after Blake died on the same day.
She carries Blake’s name as her middle name, a reminder of the strong sister she never got to meet.
About a year later, I read a post about foster care, and it moved me deeply. Jeff and I decided to get licensed, hoping to help even one child feel safe and loved. We were approved on a Friday. That Tuesday, Blake’s third birthday, we got a call about a baby girl who needed a home. She had been born the day before, on Blake’s birthday.
We said yes. That is how we met Everly Joy, our fourth daughter. She is full of life, curiosity, and happiness. After a year, her adoption was final. A deep connection will always exist between her and Blake.
Our family looks very more different than we ever imagined, full of grief, love, growth, and unexpected blessings. I am the proud mom of four beautiful girls, one I carry in my heart every day. Loving them, and living in Blake’s memory, is my greatest purpose.
