My name is Erin, and I’m 21 years old. I live in upstate New York with my mom, dad, and two sisters. Since I was four, I’ve struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic attacks, and autism. Later, depression also became a big part of my life. School was always hard for me, and I was bullied a lot. But through everything, my parents and sisters never gave up on me. They never stopped having faith in me and encouraged me to never give up.
Doctors once told my parents that I would never finish high school, but in 2015, I did. It wasn’t easy. College was even harder. Without the same help I had in high school, my mental health started to fall apart. My OCD and anxiety became worse than ever. In October 2018, I had to leave school and was hospitalized.
Then something happened that gave me real hope. My psychiatrist, Dr. Klopott, who had been helping me since I was 7, told me about something called Deep Brain Stimulation surgery. It was still new and experimental for treating OCD and anxiety, but it had the power to change my life. The surgery is similar to what people with Parkinson’s get. I’d be the first person in my area to try it for OCD.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t most scared about the surgery. The thought of losing my hair was what truly scared me. Like most girls my age, I’m really self-conscious. I use my hair to hide when I’m anxious. But two weeks before the surgery, I donated eight inches of it to Pantene for a cancer patient. That made me feel a little better, though I still felt alone.
But then something amazing happened. When I woke up from surgery, the first thing I saw was my mom smiling. She kissed my forehead and pointed to my dad. He had shaved his head while I was in surgery so I wouldn’t feel alone. He said, “We’re in this together.” I smiled so big.In that moment, I felt a kind of love I’d never known before.
Now, about four weeks later, they turned on my device. It’s still on a low setting, but I’ve already had small wins with my OCD. I can’t wait to see more improvement.
My story is proof that no matter how dark things get, there is always hope. With love and encouragement, you find the strength to move forward, and you’re never truly by yourself.
