When I saw the word “pregnant” on the test, everything stopped for a moment. My heart raced. In my mind, I began to picture the future — the little life growing inside me, and how everything would change. Would I have a boy or a girl? Would I be a good mom? What would my baby look like? Would they be smart? Funny? Did I have what it takes to be a good parent to them?
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
During my pregnancy, things went smoothly for the most part. I had some nausea, heartburn, and was often tired, but nothing serious. At every ultrasound, the doctors said everything looked fine. I always asked about the fluid levels, her limbs, and her neck. They told me not to worry, everything was perfect. In my 39th week, I felt dizzy and had a strong headache at work. I mentioned it to my doctor. She thought it was best to run some tests since I hadn’t had any of those symptoms before. After the ultrasound, I waited in the hospital room with my husband. Something deep down told me that things just didn’t feel right.
I looked at him and said, “Something is wrong.” A nurse finally came in and told me I was being admitted. They had found fluid in our baby’s lung and stomach. I was taken for an emergency c-section. The NICU team was already there, waiting. I was scared and held my husband’s hand tightly. Then, she was born. We heard her cry, and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. But soon after, a doctor said, “She has characteristics of Down syndrome.”
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
That moment, what was supposed to be the happiest, suddenly became one of the hardest. Later that night, a geneticist came into our room. She didn’t say much before telling us she believed our daughter had Down syndrome. She said a blood test would confirm it. She added that kids with Down syndrome are often sweet and loved by everyone, even calling them “the pet of the school.”
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
But none of that made it easier to hear. The life I imagined for her fell apart in seconds. I cried over the things I thought she would never do, school dances, sleepovers, late-night talks, walking across a stage in a cap and gown. All those dreams felt lost.
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
Courtesy of Alyse Biro
For months, I felt like I was drowning in sadness. But slowly, I began to really see her, my daughter. She was still the tiny life I had once carried. That same smile, those same eyes, that quiet strength, she was here, and she was absolutely beautiful. And in time, I realized she wasn’t the one who was lost, I was. And she helped me find my way back.
