After what I went through giving birth to my son, you’d think I’d be crazy to want to do it again. If you’ve read Jaxon’s story, you know why. I was terrified the second time around. Everyone told me I should just schedule a C-section so I wouldn’t risk going through the same nerve damage again. Could it happen again? Would I lose the use of my leg like before?
It had been two years, and my body had finally healed. I thought about it constantly. When we discovered I was expecting Charlotte, I immersed myself in research, spending countless hours reading birth stories, browsing posts in my “Moms with Femoral Nerve Damage” Facebook group, and connecting with women who had gone through the same thing. All the information I found gave me comfort that the chances of it recurring were very low.So, I made up my mind: I was going to try for a natural, unmedicated birth this time.
Family and friends thought I was insane. They begged me not to do it, but I was stubborn. My epidural hadn’t caused the nerve damage, but it had masked the pain that might have warned me something was wrong. I didn’t want to risk being numb again.
Pregnancy with Charlotte was rough. Sciatica, back pain, dizzy spells, fainting, I was miserable through the third trimester. Still, I tried to stay focused on hypnobirthing tracks and my “perfect” birth plan: no epidural, freedom to move, lavender and music for calm, holding my own legs, and pushing only when I felt ready. But as I should have learned the first time, birth plans usually go right out the window.
At 35 weeks, I had a scare with high blood pressure. It came back down, and since I had no history of preeclampsia, I wasn’t too worried. But right before 37 weeks, I started having strong contractions for two days straight. Every time I thought, “This is it,” they faded. Exhausted and frustrated, I called my doctor.
That morning, my blood pressure was high again. I tried everything to calm down, a bath, deep breathing but nothing worked. Because my husband was working, my mom accompanied me to the appointment.I was sure after two days of painful contractions I’d be dilated. Nope. Nothing. Not even effaced. I wanted to cry.Then came the blood pressure check. Still too high. After more monitoring at the hospital, my doctor said it wasn’t safe to wait. At 37 weeks on the dot, I was going to be induced.
I tried to smile, but inside I was crushed. This wasn’t my plan. The next 24 hours were miserable. I had four doses of Cytotec to soften my cervix, each requiring me to lie flat while having contractions and needing to pee every five minutes. Finally, after a day of that, I was started on Pitocin.
Things escalated fast. My water broke, and suddenly the contractions became inhuman. Pitocin contractions are no joke, they turned from manageable to unbearable in minutes. My hypnobirthing tracks? Useless. I caved and begged for the epidural, making sure to tell the team about my history.
The relief came, but not for long. Charlotte’s heart rate started dropping. Nurses rushed around, flipping me from side to side, trying everything. They discovered her cord was wrapped around her neck. Without the cushion of fluid, it was choking her. The doctor gave me 30 minutes to progress to 10 cm or we’d go for a C-section. I barely reached 8.
They prepped the OR. My husband was waiting outside, suited up. As I lay on the table, numb and terrified, I suddenly heard shouting: “Push! Push!” I was stunned. Push what? I was supposed to be having surgery. But Charlotte’s head was crowning. My doctor checked one last time and realized she was ready.
With no feeling below my waist, I had to imagine I was pushing. Three big pushes later, Brett finally at my side, Charlotte was born. At 10:43 p.m., in a cold operating room, just minutes before a planned C-section, I gave birth naturally to my beautiful daughter.
Standing on my own two feet afterward was an experience beyond words.After all that fear, I could walk. I could stand. And I had my daughter in my arms.Three weeks early, healthy, and perfect. My son got to meet his baby sister that night, and my heart was full.
But honestly? I think we’re done now. I don’t want to test fate again. These two births gave me everything I could ever want and more than enough stories to last a lifetime.
