Four kids. It sounds like a lot, and honestly, it is. People sometimes laugh and say, “Oh, that’s not too many.” But when you’re the one doing the raising, it feels huge. My house is loud most of the time. It’s not spotless. Half-finished coloring books are tucked under the couch, little socks pop up in strange places, and there’s always a pile of something waiting for me to deal with. Some days it feels like my to-do list never ends. My husband and I are completely outnumbered.
But here’s the thing, I wouldn’t trade it. Not for anything. People always ask, “Why four?” And the truth is, I don’t really have an answer. This is just our life, and I think it’s the way it was supposed to be.
Our kids are close in age, six, five, two, and a baby who’s not even one yet. That means things in our house might look very different from families where the kids are spread farther apart. Every parent’s story is unique, and this just happens to be mine.
We actually didn’t plan for baby number four to come when she did. My husband and I had talked about waiting until our youngest was two before adding another, but life had other ideas. Just a few days after making that decision, we found out we were already expecting. During pregnancy, not much changed besides needing a bigger car, we traded our Honda Civic for a minivan, which, honestly, is amazing if you have a lot of kids. But the real changes came after she was born.
She was beautiful from the start. We brought her home after just one night in the hospital, and I remember waiting nervously for my parents to bring back the other three. I couldn’t wait to see their faces when they met her. My two oldest already knew what babies were all about, but my then almost-two-year-old didn’t really understand. To my relief, they all fell in love with her instantly. They each wanted a turn to hold her, kiss her little head, and talk to her. My heart felt so full in that moment.
The hard part came about a week later, when my husband had to go back to work. Suddenly, I was at home with four kids, most of the day and night, trying to keep everything together. To make things harder, my father-in-law became very sick, so whenever my husband wasn’t at work, he was with his family. I didn’t blame him at all I would’ve done the same if it were my parents but it meant I had to figure out how to manage life with four kids mostly on my own. That’s when I realized routines weren’t just helpful, they were survival.
I wish I could say it was easy. It wasn’t. I battled mom guilt, worrying I wasn’t giving enough of myself to each child. Even now, those feelings sneak in sometimes. Grocery shopping takes two carts. Leaving the house requires planning like a military mission. Bath time, which used to be quick, now takes an hour. Bedtime is another long stretch of snacks, pajamas, stories, and tucking in. By the time everyone’s finally asleep, I’m ready to collapse myself.
Our oldest insists she can shower alone now, Mom, I’m almost seven!, so I let her, while still helping with her hair. My five-year-old needs reminders, so I guide him while getting the little ones ready for bed. And the babies, of course, need me the whole time. It’s a lot. But we manage.
One of the biggest adjustments hasn’t just been about schedules, it’s about making sure the older kids still get their special time. It’s easy for them to feel overshadowed with little ones around, so my husband and I try to plan one-on-one moments. Maybe it’s a small outing, maybe it’s just sitting down to play a game. But those moments matter, and we try to protect them.
Life with four kids is messy. It’s busy. It stretches me thin. But it’s also fuller than I ever imagined. Our baby may still be small, but it feels like she’s always been here. She completed our family in a way we didn’t even know we were missing. At the end of the day, yes, four kids means more laundry, more chaos, more planning, and a lot less rest. But it also means more love, more laughter, more little hugs, and more joy echoing through our home. People might see “a lot,” but I just see exactly what we were meant to have. Four doesn’t feel like too many. Four feels just right.
