It’s a moment, I will never forget. I hadn’t dated in over seven years since my divorce, and I had just freed myself from a very abusive and controlling relationship with a pastor. I didn’t think I could get pregnant, my ex-husband and I had tried for years, and he assumed I was sterile. So, when I found out I was pregnant with the man I loved, I was completely stunned.
I’m Danielle Sarchet. I was 32 when I discovered I was expecting, living in a very conservative and evangelical city. For context, I had traveled the world, lived in South Korea and Thailand, visited over 26 countries, had a psychology degree, my own home, and was almost debt-free. I had a close, caring community besides me.
I remember taking three pregnancy tests. All were positive. My first thought? “I’m going to get fired. I had just begun building a non-profit, and I leaned on my friend to keep me from choosing abortion. I immediately called a longtime friend of over 13 years, knowing she would support my choice to keep the baby. At the time, I considered myself pre-choice, but abortion didn’t feel right for me.
The father of my baby didn’t support me. He wanted me to terminate the pregnancy and even had three other women he was engaged to in different states. On top of that, I worked at a Christian non-profit where I faced almost daily shame, from helpers, colleagues, and champions. People said things like:
“Danielle needs to face the consequences for her actions.”
“As a single mom, I was told that promotion wasn’t for me.”
“Please don’t talk about this to the helpers.”
“How does this expose on me as a leader?”
The shame was endless. I cried often and felt like everyone was right about me. But deep down, I knew the child in my womb wasn’t a mistake. My decision to keep my baby wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t ashamed of my son, even if the world tried to make me feel that way.
The thing that changed my mind completely wasn’t a grand spiritual shock; it was a moment from a Parenthood episode. A teenage daughter told her mother, “I hate when you say I’m making the same mistakes because it tells me I am a mistake.” That hit me hard. My baby wasn’t a mistake. God knew about her. I just surprised myself and everyone around me.
From that point on, I comprised my journey as a single mom, but also as a supporter. When my son was born, the only shame I felt was for having ever felt ashamed of him. I told everyone, “If keeping him was a mistake, I would make that mistake ten times over.” Being a single mom was my choice, and it was a choice I proudly made.
The road wasn’t easy. I lost some people along the way, but I gained an incredible community of supportive believers and other single moms. Over the years, I’ve learned to fight against judgment and discrimination, showing my son that differences don’t define worth. He has been a light in my life, teaching me love, commitment, and purpose.
I left my lethal job, moved overseas with my son, and started thriving. I now run my own marketing company, helping other single moms earn income through freelance work. I also run a non-profit that empowers women and single mothers worldwide. I teach churches how to welcome and support single moms without shame.
There’s still work to be done. More resources and opportunities for single mothers are needed. But I wouldn’t change our journey. It has shaped me into someone who can guide, support, and uplift others.
To anyone reading this who is a single mom or facing judgment: you’ve got this. You can survive, thrive, and leave shame behind. Build your village, take care of yourself, be vulnerable, and focus on growth, mentally, spiritually, and financially. Your children will see your asset and rival it. Keep going, you’re amazing. Your story really matters
