Unpopular opinion (maybe?), but I actually really liked Disney/Pixar’s Turning Red and my opinion isn’t just about the movie itself, but also about the people criticizing it.
I keep seeing posts where folks are upset about it. And okay, sure, it might be better suited for older kids since it touches on puberty, awkward teen years, crushes, etc. But as an Asian-American (AAPI), I found it really relatable. The family in the movie shares the same culture as my ancestors, and the city they live in is the same one where some of my relatives are. I’ve visited there, so it hit home. Even my kids, who are only one-quarter Chinese, connected with it.
The movie is set in 2002, which is right around when I was a teenager. That was before most kids had cell phones, before being a nerd was “cool,” and when boybands were still a thing. It totally reminded me of my middle school group, nerdy, obsessed with NKOTB, crushing on boys, and all from different backgrounds. Watching it made me feel nostalgic, but also made me reflect as a parent. I saw parts of myself, shaped by my culture, in the mom character, for better and for worse.
A lot of the negative reviews I’ve read seem to focus on “inappropriate content.” Personally, I think that’s more about what a certain subculture considers inappropriate than what’s actually there. I’ve also seen people complain about the spiritual elements. Yes, some might say it symbolizes getting your period or becoming a woman (I didn’t really take it that way), but for me the bigger themes were family expectations, generational trauma, and figuring out who you are when you don’t fit into the mold your family wants.
I’m still in some Christian homeschool groups from my past life, and honestly, people there are furious about this movie. The argument is always, “It doesn’t promote the values we want for our kids.” And I get that, because I used to be that Christian parent who screened everything. But I’m also Chinese-American. Every year I went with my family to my grandfather’s grave and bowed three times to show respect.
So when I see people (usually white moms, if I’m being real) calling the rituals in Turning Red “evil” or “bad values,” I can’t help but wonder if they realize how their comments come across. Because why does seeing another culture’s practices automatically equal “wrong”? If you see Chinese characters honoring their ancestors and that offends you, maybe pause before typing. Ask yourself if you’re just uncomfortable because you don’t understand or admit that what you’re saying has racist undertones, even if you didn’t mean it that way.
Anyway, back to the movie. I loved it. It felt like watching a piece of my own life onscreen. I cried at parts because I saw myself in both the daughter and the mom. Yes, it has tween/teen themes, but younger kids will either miss those parts or you can explain them. It’s full of early 2000s nostalgia, which is kind of fun, and it gives non-Asians a little window into our culture.
So yeah, I’d recommend it. Not only is it a fun, relatable story, but it could also open up some really good conversations with your kids. Then came July 19, 2012. Two uniformed Marines knocked on my door. Just like you see in movies, only this was real. They started reading the citation about how Josh was killed, but I couldn’t hear them. I was in shock. My baby was gone.
Life has never been the same since. It’s been years now, but I still cry. I miss his phone calls. I miss seeing him walk through the door on leave. I miss hearing him say “I love you.” Holidays are hard. Every day is hard.
Josh had told me he wanted to adopt Sirius after their deployment. He said, “Mom, you adopt him until I can.” After Josh died, there was no question. I adopted Sirius. Having him was like having a piece of Josh still with me. He was family. He was like another child.
When Sirius passed away in May 2021, my heart broke all over again. Losing him felt like losing Josh a second time.
When your child serves, the family serves too. I have been blessed by the Marine Corps family. They brought me in, made me part of their brotherhood. And I know in my heart that Josh and Sirius are together again, guarding heaven’s gates.
There is even a song about them — “K-9 Brother” by Andy Griggs. It came out in 2020, and it means so much to me that their story is remembered in that way. Because my son will never be forgotten. Not by me. Not ever. I will keep saying his name. Always.
