Kathleen remembers the day her life turned: January 9, 2020. But the road there started years earlier, in January 2017, when she and her partner were dreaming up nurseries and picking out houses. Then the bottom fell out, and he left for someone else. She mourned the breakup and the future she thought was hers.
On New Year’s Day 2018, she woke tired of waiting for the “right one.” She asked herself if she could become a mother alone, and the answer was a loud yes. She was 23, living in Michigan, and found one agency willing to work with a single parent under 25. She attended orientation in February and dove into the long list of requirements: fingerprints, background checks, medicals, drug tests, finances, classes, webinars, and books.
The first home visit came in May. Everyone says not to scrub every corner, but she did anyway, set out tea, wore a special dress, and passed. By August 2018, she was approved and added to the waiting families list, which was the hardest part. Being single meant most profiles passed her by. She understood why, but it still hurt. In May 2019, hope surged when a mother in Chicago chose her. She heard the baby’s heartbeat at an ultrasound, fell in love, planned to return for the birth, and then the calls stopped. The due date came and went in silence.
She assumed the mother chose to parent and felt grief for a child who was never really hers. After a month, she stepped back onto the waiting list. By early 2020, her profile had been shown twenty times. She tried to believe what people say: it will happen when it’s meant to. On January 6, her social worker asked to see her profile again. Three days later, the voicemail came: a match. On January 15, she met the expectant family; they clicked. When she shared her favorite girl’s name, Roselyn, because her middle name was Rose, the expectant mom smiled, her middle name was Lynne. It felt like a nuggle from the universe. On January 28, 2020, Rosy was born.
Rosy arrived with substance exposure and withdrawal, so the Special Care Nursery became their world for a while. The birth family visited often, offering kindness and support, and she felt a deep respect for them and for open adoption. Rosy struggled at first with temperature swings, reflux, and a little stomach, but around five months, everything began to bloom: crawling, babbling, solid food, mischief.
Motherhood settled onto her shoulders like it had been waiting there all along. In August 2020, the same birth mom called with big news: she was pregnant and unsure what to do. They talked through options, and a week later, she said yes to welcoming Rosy’s sibling if that became the plan.
In September, Rosy’s adoption was finalized over Zoom. It was a quiet morning that left her in tears when the judge made it official. Soon, she was back to paperwork and home visits. On March 11, 2021, Anthony, AJ, was born by C-section. Visitor limits meant the birth mom could choose only one person to be with her. She chose the woman who would raise her son. AJ also needed the Special Care Nursery and treatment for withdrawal. Watching his tiny body tremble broke her heart; she learned on Nurse Michelle and on the strength she had built over years of waiting and worry. She chose compassion for the woman recovering from surgery and compassion for the baby coming home. A month later, he did.
Two children under fourteen months is no small thing. A close friend, DJ, showed up with dishes done, park trips handled, and lullabies on repeat. Love grew in the everyday. He moved in and became a full-time dad. On November 4, 2021, AJ’s adoption was finalized, and all three shared a last name. The mountain of forms, fees, and inspections was finally behind them.
Open adoption didn’t close any doors; it added rooms to their family. They kept the lines with the birth family, even when it took patience and care to navigate. In June 2022, she married DJ, and the kids stood with them. Looking back, she sees a timeline stitched with detours: a broken engagement that redirected her, a false start in Chicago that taught her to let go, a match that became a daughter, another call that became a son, and a friend who became a husband. She didn’t get motherhood by the path she first planned, but she got the family she was meant to have.
