As I sat there looking at a outright screen, I wasn’t sure how to start division our adoption story, which is one of family, love, and resiliency. My son Connor arrived the room after an hour of silence and asked as to my whereabouts. I well versed him that I was writing about our adoption experience for *Love comes again.
Then why is the paper blank?” he asked, oblique at the blank page. “Because I’m not a writer,” I answered. I was moved by what he said next: “Dad, you don’t have to be a novelist to tell everyone how amazing you are!”
I’m Derek, and although I don’t think I have anything mainly striking about myself, I do know that I adore my family totally. I’m Sarah’s husband and the father of two kids, Everly, age two, and Connor, age eleven. Although Connor, whom I later adopted, is not my organic daughter, Everly is, and I have never cared about the change.
I love them similarly and without conditions because they are both my children. I’ve known Sarah for fourteen years. There was nothing remarkable or affected about our love story. Because we weren’t ready, we ended our relationship after dating and laughing.
Tragic events years later brought us back together: Sarah lost her father in a motorbike accident, and I lost my grandmother to brain cancer. Grief brought a new understanding, even though we had stayed in contact. Sarah gave birth to Connor, a son, during those years apart. I first met him on Christmas Eve of 2016. He knocked on my door wearing a green coat.
Connor sobbed by the end of that night because he was unwilling to go. In order for him to give me one last hug, Sarah had to turn the car around. We became close after that, with daily visits, phone conversations, and a strong sense that our relationship was sole.
We were more than just a married couple with a kid. We were starting a family. Connor was looking at me in the rearview mirror one day while we were having a “guys’ day out.” “Can I call you Dad?” he said quietly.
That question weighed heavily on me. I wanted to provide the correct response because he was only six.I told him that his mom and I would talk it over. Sarah later told me that if I was ready, she was all for it. He asked again when we were driving home from the stock a week later. I gave him a look this time and replied, “Yes.”
He referred to me as Dad after that day. We started to discuss adoption more seriously as our relationship expanded. Connor stated that he wanted to be recognized as my son and not just have my last name. We all wanted adoption more than anything, and he knew what it meant. It was about love, faith, and family not just filling out forms.
In 2021, we began the adoption process. We even co-developed the *Badical App* parenting app during this time, which strengthened our bonds, helped us make new friends, and opened up incredible travel chances. Because my own dad was never around, I understood how Connor felt about not having a bond with his real father.
My decision to be a different kind of father who never took that title for granted was prompted by that absence. I contacted Connor’s biological father in the summer of 2021 to see if we could get together and discuss Connor’s future.
We spoke for three hours in an open and courteous manner. He realised the depth of our relationship after witnessing Connor’s happiness. His approval of the adoption was crucial. We weren’t in a courtroom on the day of our adoption, April 5, 2021.
In a lawyer’s office, we put on masks and made all the final arrangements over the phone. Although it wasn’t conventional, it made no difference. It was important that it took place. We will always remember that day. “Why can’t I be adopted?” Connor used to ask.
I always assured him that it would happen, even though the answer was never straightforward. And when it did, it confirmed what we already knew: we were a family in every meaningful sense.
I will never forget Connor’s words to me during the difficult times of the adoption process: “Dad, don’t give up hope and keep fighting, because we will win!” He was correct. Yes, we prevailed. Connor became the son I had always dreamed of having, and I became the father I had vowed to be.
