On December 23rd, 2019, I became a mom for the second time. Since then, I’ve noticed so many new moms asking the same questions: “How do I tell people not to visit right away?” How do I protect my space while being mindful of others’ feelings?
Courtesy of Camille Camacho Photography
So here’s the truth: it’s not about you. If you’re a friend or family member of a new mom, please understand, this time is all about her and the baby.
Many moms feel guilty asking for space, even though they shouldn’t. They’re trying to recover from childbirth, bond with their baby, and adjust to a whole new life. It doesn’t mean they’re being rude, ungrateful, or trying to push you away.
Courtesy of The Sophia Co Photography
Birth is intense. Whether she delivered vaginally or had a C-section, it takes a major toll on the body. She’s exhausted, in pain, and maybe even stressed with breastfeeding. Nurses come in constantly to check her body, she’s bleeding heavily, wearing giant web underwear, and trying to rest whenever she can.
On top of all that, she’s probably scared about germs. Newborns have weak safe and what might be a mild cold for you could be dangerous for them.
Courtesy of The Sophia Co Photography
A gentler approach might be, “I’d love to meet the baby whenever you feel comfortable.” Please give a heads-up before coming over. And definitely don’t bring other kids unless you’ve asked first.
Even if you just think you might be sick, please don’t come. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a tickle in your throat or “just allergies.” Wait until you’re fully well before visiting.
Also, don’t make her ask you to wash your hands or not kiss the baby. Just do it. These things should be common nous by now.
This isn’t meant to come across as rude or harsh. Most new moms really do appreciate the love and support. They’re excited for you to meet their baby too. But they need time and space to recover, physically and emotionally.
Courtesy of Camille Camacho Photography
So be kind. Be thoughtful. And most of all, be enduring. Respecting her boundaries shows that you care not just about the baby, but about her, too.
