When I was 36 weeks pregnant with my daughter, an ultrasound showed she had stopped growing. Her size was like a 32-week-old baby.in this tension, I ran to the hospital to give her birth early. She was born small; her weight was only 4 pounds and 12 ounces, which meant she was weak. After that, we took her home for the first time, and everyone was so happy and excited to see a new baby. We name her Eisley.
When she was 5 years old, we noticed some changes in her, like she was a healthy and active child, but she wasn’t growing up, which means she was still small.
Eisley wore 2-4 years old kids’ clothes , where she was a 5-year-old kid. She ate an energetic diet to stay healthy. She is also so little that when she broke her leg this summer, there were no crutches or knee scooters small enough for her to fit.
As a mother, I was so worried because of her size. Sometimes, she couldn’t make up things that she wanted to do, like climbing or playing games with others, but other kids bullied her a lot. For example, when I dropped her off at a special gymnastics class for invited kids, the coach had to ask me twice if she was five years old because she looked so tiny.
But this story is not mainly about how small she is. I mentioned that so you understand how surprised I was by what happened next. Life is unpredictable. Anything can happen at any time, so don’t lose hope. That is what I wanted to say.
A boy at her school hit her in the face last week. It was so difficult to deal with it. I can’t share a picture of her eye because I don’t want her pain to be public.
The boy hit her hard enough to give her a swollen and bruised eye that lasted for days. She cried a lot. Eisley was in so much pain that couldn’t be described here. I even thought about using makeup to cover the black eye before sending her back to school, but I did not want to teach her to hide the fact that someone hurt her.
I know I can not let that boy go easily, and even though I didn’t know where he lived or who he was, that didn’t hurt me, but when I found out my daughter was hiding it from me, that really hurt me.
At first, she did not tell me exactly what happened there, but then suddenly, she said I felt off to the group and didn’t know what happened. Later that evening, my dad noticed her black eye and asked what happened. She finally told him the truth but said she did not cry because she was trying to be a strong, friendly, brave girl. That broke my heart.
What do we teach our girls? Does being “nice” mean they must hide their pain and not stand up for themselves? I left my daughter’s father when she was a baby because I did not want her to grow up thinking she should accept abuse quietly. We should make them brave mentally, not that they start hiding their pain. Parents should be friendly with their children so that they can share everything openly without any fear.
I am asking these questions because I want to find answers. It does not matter that she is only five. My sons would never stay silent if someone hurt them. Somehow, my daughter has learned that being nice means accepting hurt.
The next morning, I talked with her teacher about it. I did not want to punish the boy, though. I hope he learns from this, and it’s like I will ignore this every time; it’s just a moral for a boy. My main goal was to make sure my daughter felt safe to speak up freely without any fear that if I told her this, it would make me weak, and she knows she does not have to accept being hurt.
I am thankful to the school for helping me and ensuring that it wouldn’t happen again. Sometimes, other schools do not take these kinds of steps, but my daughter’s school is so cooperative. They think that girls are weak. If something happens to them, they ignore it, and boys will be boys. They can do anything they want, but that is not right. Treat girls and boys equally. No one is allowed to hurt anyone.
I do not accept that. No child should hit another, and no girl should be scared to speak up because she wants to be “nice.” We need to teach our children better. Being kind is important, but not if it means hiding hurt or staying silent.
There is a message to the parents of that boy who hurt my daughter that I do not know why your son did this. Maybe he is going through a hard time. I forgive him, and I forgive you. But I also know things can be better for all of us.
