Samantha and I were married on March 15, 2020, in Mammoth, California, right in the middle of a snowstorm and just as the Covid pandemic was beginning. Our wedding plans changed at the last minute, but everything came together beautifully, and it turned out to be a magical day. Just two weeks before, we had learned Sammie was pregnant, so the celebration felt even more meaningful.
Right after the wedding, we returned home to Las Vegas since our Jamaica honeymoon had to be postponed. Like so many others, I started working from home and picked up a second job delivering pizzas to save for our baby’s future. Sammie kept working as a nurse, right up until the day before she went into labor. On May 8, 2020, we found out we were having a boy. I was overjoyed knowing the Buenger name would continue, and I cherished being able to help Sammie more during her pregnancy.
In September, we bought our first home and quickly set up the nursery. A month later, on October 22, Sammie’s water broke during the presidential debate. After a long 36 hours of labor, our son, Cameron Jackson, was born at 2:51 a.m. He was six pounds, six ounces, and absolutely perfect. Watching him come into the world was the most incredible moment of my life.
Sadly, life took a heartbreaking turn just two months later. Sammie’s father, Marty, passed away on December 27, 2020, after a fall and a battle with Parkinson’s. In those final days, we brought Cameron to see his grandpa every day. Though the loss was devastating, we were thankful Marty got to meet his grandson and had even been at our wedding earlier that year.
To help Sammie grieve, I took over caring for Cameron at night. At just over two months old, he was beginning to smile and show his little personality. Those quiet nights with him were special, though I didn’t know how short that time would be.
On January 5, Sammie’s mom, Jackie, offered to watch Cameron overnight. Sammie and I went out to our favorite sushi spot, enjoying a rare night together. But in the early hours of the morning, Jackie called. I handed Sammie the phone, and I’ll never forget hearing her repeat, “The baby is not breathing.”
We rushed to Jackie’s new apartment. When we arrived, she was on the floor performing CPR on Cameron. His tiny body was pale, and his lips had turned blue. Paramedics arrived quickly, but soon after, they told us what we feared most, our son had passed away from SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Our world collapsed in that moment. Sammie and I screamed and cried in disbelief. I remember hitting the walls until officers stepped in to calm me down. Saying goodbye to Cameron later that day, when his body was already cold and stiff, was the most painful thing I have ever endured.
The days that followed were a blur. Family and friends surrounded us constantly, never letting us grieve alone. My sisters filled our house with sticky notes of encouragement, which are still up to this day. Both of our workplaces gave us unlimited time off, and our coworkers donated PTO so we could focus on healing. The kindness and compassion we received was overwhelming and humbling.
When the house grew quiet again, Sammie and I decided to travel to Florida for a short escape. We needed space to breathe, and being away gave us some relief. We even got matching tattoos in Cameron’s honor. Still, coming home reminded us of the painful truth, he was gone.
Just as we tried to find our footing, tragedy struck again. My uncle took his own life after struggling with pain and delayed surgeries during Covid. I felt drained, like I had no tears left.
On Easter Sunday, however, hope returned. We learned Sammie was pregnant again, this time with twins. The news brought both joy and fear. Losing Cameron made us anxious, but we tried to believe these babies were hand-picked by him and Sammie’s dad, Marty.
On November 4, 2021, our miracle twins, Rory and Reagan, were born five weeks early but healthy and beautiful. They became our rainbow after the storm, our reason to smile again.
Life has taught me that we can’t control what happens, but we can control how we respond. Losing Cameron nearly broke us, but we chose to keep going, to honor him, and to spread awareness about SIDS. We remind ourselves daily that tough times don’t last, but tough people do.
Our twins are now three months old, and they have filled our home with light again. We cherish every moment with them, knowing how precious life truly is. Through everything, I hold onto one truth: after every dark night, there is always a brighter day.
