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Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a mom. After losing my own mother at age five, the few memories I had of her helped shape the kind of mother I hoped to be.
I met Patrick when I was 18, and we didn’t wait long before getting married.
From the start, we knew we wanted a big family. I come from a family of six siblings, while Patrick is an only child. We started seriously trying for children in 2009, doing everything we could tracking cycles, eating specific foods but after many negative tests, I started to wonder if motherhood just wasn’t in the cards.
We paused from 2011 to 2015 and moved around a lot from Washington to Florida, then Arizona, and back to Washington. In 2015, we began trying again and saw a fertility specialist. After three failed IUI treatments, we still had no success. Around that time, a friend who fostered children reached out, encouraging us to consider fostering. At first, I said no I was scared and unsure. But when she told me kids were sleeping in hotel rooms because there weren’t enough homes, something in me shifted.
Patrick and I eventually agreed to begin training. By June 2017, we were licensed foster parents. Our families supported us and knew how deeply we wanted children.
In July, we received our first call a 15-month-old girl needed a new home. Her foster mom was returning to school. The social worker warned us she had attachment issues and hesitantly asked, “She’s white. Is that okay?” Patrick answered without hesitation: “She needs a home race doesn’t matter.”
The next day, Felicity arrived. Terrified, she held onto me tightly and refused to let go for hours.
That first night was overwhelming. I doubted myself. But soon, she began calling us “Mommy” and “Daddy,” and I knew we were meant to be her family.
A year later, we were asked to care for a newborn boy named Samuel, born premature and drug-exposed. He spent over a month in the NICU, and at one point, he stopped breathing. Patrick used CPR to save him. Samuel came home healthy and thriving.
Seven weeks later, Samuel’s biological mom told us she was pregnant again. We prayed his sibling would be placed with us. When baby Judah was born, we fought hard to bring him home and succeeded.
In just 18 months, we became parents to three children under two. Our journey wasn’t easy, but it was full of love. Felicity and Samuel were adopted in January 2020, and Judah in July. Though our skin doesn’t match, our love does.
Today, we’re raising our children in a predominantly white neighborhood, having honest conversations about race and who they are.
We’re also starting a podcast to share our foster and adoption journey because families like ours are rare, but real.
