When I asked women from special walks of life about the top child-care advice they had ever acknowledged, the answers affected my heart in ways I wasn’t expecting. Each piece of understanding came from real knowledge, and together they painted a picture of what it really means to raise children.
One woman told me something that hit me deeply: “Kids will be the hardest on their moms when life gets uneven, because they know that no matter what they say or do, mom will always love them.
I couldn’t help but think of my own children when I heard that. As parents, we know our kids will get angry at us. They will stroke out, bang doors, or even say words that bites. But at the end of the day, we remain their safe place. They can throw their storms at us because, deep down, they know we will never walk away. From the moment they were born, we became their allegiant, comfort, love, and steadiness covered into one.
It isn’t always fair, and it can feel crushing at times, but it’s part of parenting. For a long while, my husband and I didn’t always see eye to eye on how to show love. He put toward gifts and surprises, while I believed words and faith were enough. But what I have learned through time is that what children desire the most isn’t toys or even repeated “I love yous.” What they need most is our time.
It doesn’t have to be hours upon hours every day. Sometimes it’s sitting together to build a Lego set, reading a bedtime story, or simply giving a gentle hug before they head out the door for school. Children amount the love in moments. They remember the times we chose them over interruptions, the times we stopped what we were doing just to be present. Love and time aren’t separate things. They walk hand in hand, and one cannot live without the other.
Another woman shared advice that has stayed with me: “It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t be scared to reach out to that village for help. You need to recharged before you can give your best to others.
She couldn’t have been more right. Parenting is not meant to be done alone, and trying to shoulder everything by ourselves eventually wears us down. Your “village” doesn’t have to be a huge group of people, it could be a close friend, a grandparent, or even a neighbor. What matters is having someone you can lean on when you’re tired, overcome, or simply need a break.
Frequently, parents feel like they must be champions, but the truth is we need care too. There’s no embarrassments in asking for help. The people in our lives want to support us, yet we forget we’re allowed to lean on them. Sometimes we get so used to being everyone else’s shoulder that we forget we’re allowed to rest on one too.
Another mother offered words that were simple yet very controlling: “What works for one might not work for all.”
This couldn’t be righter, especially in today’s world where social media is occupied with parenting advice. There are endless blogs, videos, and posts telling us what we “should” do, as if one method fits every child. While I love learning from other parents, I’ve also learned to take advice with balance.
Every child is different. Every household is unique. What soothes one baby may not calm another. What motivates one teenager might not motivate the next. Trying new approaches is valuable because it helps us grow and adjust, but we must remember that it’s okay if something doesn’t work for our family. It doesn’t mean we’ve failed; it just means we need to keep learning and adjusting.
At the end of all these conversations, I realized there isn’t one single part of advice that holds more weight than the others. Parenting is a mix of love, patience, learning, and constant change. What truly matters is that our children feel seen, heard, and loved. Whether that comes through time spent, reaching out for help when needed, or finding the unique rhythm that works for your family, it all adds up to the same thing: being the best parent you can be in the moment you’re in.
So if I could sum up what I learned, it would be this: spend time with your kids, even in small ways; don’t be scared to ask for help; and trust your characters over judgements. Parenting isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present, being eager to learn, and never giving up on the little humans who look to us as their secure place to live.
