Donielle Havens never imagined her first pregnancy would unfold into the kind of story parents whisper about but hope they never have to live. In March 2015, she and her husband, Brad, discovered they were expecting. The news was met with nerves, of course, but mostly joy. They would be parents; that thought alone was enough to carry them through the initial shock waves.
Everything shifted at their 13-week ultrasound. The technician grew quiet, and Donielle was sent to a specialist before long. The baby, they were told, had a cystic hygroma, a fluid-filled sac that develops from problems in the lymphatic system. These words were foreign, clinical, and terrifying. It was only the beginning.
Tests confirmed the baby was a girl, and her parents named her Hadlee Mae. Alongside that joy came the crushing reality of Turner’s syndrome, a chromosomal condition that affects only females. At first, it sounded manageable, something they could face as a family. But the next ultrasound delivered harsher news. The cystic hygroma had doubled in size, and Hadlee’s tiny body was filling with fluid in her heart and lungs. Doctors explained this meant she would not survive much longer. That was the moment their world stood still. Donielle was told she would have to carry her daughter until her heart stopped beating. Then she would deliver her, not into life but into silence. The cruelest twist of all was knowing their baby girl was fighting inside her while everyone else waited for the inevitable.
Week after week, they returned for ultrasounds, half dreading, half hoping. Hadlee continued to hang on, proving stronger than anyone expected. Those appointments became a fragile rhythm, moments of clinging to hope while preparing for heartbreak. On June 30, 2015, Donielle was admitted to the hospital for induction. Staff placed her far from mothers in active labor, a small act of mercy in an otherwise unbearable experience. The nurses and her doctor treated her with such compassion that she felt genuinely cared for in her grief. After 11 hours of labor, Hadlee was born sleeping in the early hours of July 1. She weighed less than a pound, her body tiny and perfect, and she was loved beyond measure.
Brad and Donielle held her, studied her face, and memorized the small details of the daughter they would never see grow up. The nurses cried with them, strangers turned companions in sorrow. They gave the family keepsakes, including Hadlee’s footprints and the blanket she had been wrapped in. Her parents chose cremation, and her ashes remain in their bedroom inside a small block-shaped box. Donielle also wears a necklace holding part of those ashes close to her heart.
Life after pregnancy loss is messy, full of what-ifs and daily reminders. Donielle has described it as the hardest journey they will ever endure. Yet through it, they found support in family, friends, and their faith. She learned to accept that this was not something she caused or could have prevented, even if accepting that truth came with tears and anger. Cystic hygromas are more common than people realize, affecting about one in three pregnancies, but most never hear about them until it becomes their story.
Time has passed, but grief has not disappeared. Three years later Hadlee still fills Donielle’s thoughts every single day. Her presence appears in rainbows after storms, butterflies drifting past, and cardinals perched on windowsills. Each one feels like a quiet reminder that her daughter is near. The Havens family eventually welcomed another child, a healthy boy named Macon Allen. Donielle likes to believe Hadlee handpicked him for them, a rainbow after the storm. One day, he will learn about his big sister, the fighter who lived for 20 weeks in his mother’s womb and left a mark deeper than some people make in a lifetime.
This pregnancy loss story is not just about grief. It is also about resilience, the way parents continue forward with love even when their arms are empty. Hadlee may not have taken her first breath, but her life continues to inspire her family and give comfort to other parents facing similar heartbreak.
