On July 15, 2019, I got a message that changed everything. It said, “Hey, autumn. Are you still interested in foster care? I think I have someone who might be a good fit.” Months before, I had talked to a friend from church who worked at a shelter for teens. I told her I’d always wanted to foster, especially teenagers, but I was worried about how a teen might affect my younger child at home. I learned that many people feel the same way about fostering teens, they’re just older kids who need love, not something to panic.
My friend said she would reach out if she ever had a teen girl who might fit set with us. About eight months later, that message arrived. Her name was Mara.
After talking to Mara’s caseworker, I attended a Rachel Hollis event where I jotted down my biggest goals and fostering topped that list. I have always believed every child deserves love, care, and to be seen for who they really are. All weekend, I thought about Mara a teenage girl in a shelter with no home. I knew we had to open our hearts and home to her.
The only challenge was convincing my husband, Josh. We had talked about fostering before, and I felt it was my calling. He was unsure. But after seeing the movie Instant Family at church one weekend—a movie about fostering and adoption, he saw how important it was to me. He finally agreed to start the process.
Less than a week afterward, I first encountered Mara at the shelter. She was nervous but hopeful. She shared stories about her journey, moving through various foster homes and the challenges she’s faced throughout her 16 years. She shared her story while nervously picking at her cuticles, a habit we both share. My heart broke for her. I told her we already wanted her as part of our family. We cried together, and I knew I could love her like my own.
Three weeks later, Mara moved into our home with her belongings. The first week felt strange. We were all still strangers, but soon things felt more normal. Mara got a job, did well in school, and made friends. She earned her driver’s certificate and license, and even got her own car. Our dinner conversations were soon filled with laughter, especially from the playful banter between Mara and our other teen daughter, Kaylee. Mara’s sharp sense of humor brightened every room.
One day, while driving after my youngest daughter’s softball game, I looked in the mirror and saw Mara laughing. I felt so grateful. I realized this was our new normal, just as it was meant to be. I couldn’t imagine life without her.
When Mara was 12, her parents lost their rights, making adoption possible. At 17, she chose to be adopted. At one point, she believed she’d grow too old for foster care and wasn’t sure if real love was possible for her. Being a foster parent is puzzling. Kids come from many homes, cultures, and rules. Mara had been in many places before us, including a shelter. It was too much.
After many talks, Mara chose to be adopted and took our last name, Moore, in May 2020. Though 2020 was a hard year for many, it was special for our family, we officially became five.
People ask if fostering a teenager is hard. Truthfully, the most difficult thing is feeling the weight of the first 16 years she missed and understanding the hardships she’s been through. It’s hard knowing her biological family is broken. But Mara is strong. She’s working hard to graduate early, saving money, and plans to attend college to help kids like her.
She says she’ll probably stay with us often because she’ll miss us. While I’m sad she’ll move out soon, I’m excited to see her grow.
Our family plans to keep fostering and work to make the foster care system better for kids and their families. Every child deserves a chance to be loved and safe.
