Death of any loved one brings with it great grief and heartbreak, but healing isn’t as easy as it looks. As time passes, we surely tend to accept things more; however, grief still knocks on the door on the days you finally gather the courage to smile and are happy, on happier occasions with the person’s presence, whether it is your birthday, anniversary, or a holiday. Especially in the early days of the loss, it feels like time passes more slowly than usual, and even minor inconveniences can not be solved.
Every day, you still wait for ‘good morning’ texts that instantly made your world light up, the prayers you received that made things feel easier, and the words of affirmation that felt like everything would turn out fine. However, while one person leaves, tens show up with flowers, sweet messages, and prayers. It makes the world feel lighter, much better.
Every time you turn the calendar over, grief does not get better. You still wake up every day, but with a heavy heart that wants to talk to that person and tell them everything about your day. No matter where you tend to find your escape, you are followed everywhere by the pain and sorrow. The post is supposed to be a reminder not to give up, to still gather the courage to laugh through the pain, and to still take chances and not regret it!
While you live your life to the fullest and think and do the best for yourself, please also keep every individual dear to you close. Check up on them, call them, or visit them to keep your heart at ease. But for the ones who are no longer here, don’t forget them!
The first is that you’ll constantly be in survival mode. Even doing the bare minimum, even just for yourself, will feel like a big task, and everything will feel unfamiliar. But with the passing days, the realisation that you need to keep going and not give up hits you on a random Tuesday when you are lying on your bed, mentally absent. You’ll realise how the emptiness will need to be filled someday, so you start looking for something to add to your routine now. A new purpose to life!
Avoiding all negative emotions and finding ways to escape them will be the new norm in your life, but you will miss the ache of his laugh, how life seemed to be a bed full of roses with his presence, and even the little gestures.
Things will get tough when hundreds of questions occupy your mind. The scary part is that they won’t discuss the pain; behind every question will be a ‘What-if?’ regret of not putting in more effort, finding better doctors, spending more together, and so on. It would be fair to say that it is the survivor’s guilt. Some people are so dear to us that we could sacrifice everything for them, even ourselves. Losing a partner, too, felt like the kids had lost their better parents, and the thought never tends to leave.
Even now, after her partner passed and it’s been quite some time, her smile has returned, and she stands firm for the kids, but her soul feels tired. The future she had dreamt of is long gone, and the person she loved will never return. Thus, don’t make assumptions based on how the person looks externally. Internally, the struggle is a norm, and grief is constant. Don’t forget the warriors!
