When I married Todd 11 years ago, I instantly became a stepmom to his five-year-old daughter. Overnight, I stepped into a new role, and not long after, we welcomed two more little girls of our own. Today, Zoe is 18, Nora is 10, and Ruby is 7. Having Nora and Ruby, though, was not a smooth journey. With Nora, we struggled through a year of infertility, and when I finally got pregnant, she came dangerously early at just 25 weeks, weighing only 1 pound 14 ounces. She fought hard in the NICU and somehow overcame every odd stacked against her. Now, seeing her thrive at 10 feels like a miracle. Ruby’s pregnancy wasn’t easy either. It was complicated and stressful, but by the grace of God we made it to 36 weeks.
After those experiences, we often joked that the insurance company should pay us to stop having kids. My body simply couldn’t handle another pregnancy. Deep down though, I didn’t feel like our family was finished. I wasn’t sure what that meant at the time, so I prayed and waited, trusting God to show us the way.
Two years ago, I began to feel a pull toward foster care. I brought it up to Todd, but his answer was a quick no. Todd is a wonderful man, but the idea of raising someone else’s kids wasn’t something he had ever pictured. I let it go, but the thought didn’t go away. In fact, it grew stronger until it felt less like a gentle nudge and more like a shove. Eventually, I went back to him and said, “This isn’t leaving me. God is pushing hard.” Todd sighed and said, “Well, we better look into it then.” And that’s where it all began.
I had very little experience with foster care beyond memories of my aunt fostering babies when I was younger. I was also not the type of person who thrives on change, I’ve dealt with anxiety for years, I like life to stay predictable, and I’m naturally introverted. Signing up for something that turned our comfort zone upside down was not in my nature. But sometimes, God calls us into things that stretch us in ways we could never imagine.
We started our classes in March 2021 and by July we were licensed. I’ll never forget getting the call while we were on vacation telling us we were officially approved. As happy as I was, the ride home was full of nerves. I knew our lives were about to change completely.
Two weeks later, we got our first placement: a teenage girl and her two-year-old sister. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t about the girls, they were wonderful in their own ways—but my anxiety took over. Parenting a teenager with a difficult past was something I was not equipped for. After just 10 days, the placement ended suddenly, and I was crushed. I felt like I had failed everyone, the kids, my family, even God.
We took three weeks to pray and regroup. Every part of me wanted to quit, but God kept whispering, “Keep going.” We adjusted our criteria to younger kids, and soon after, I got a call about a newborn baby girl. Before the words were even finished, I blurted out yes. The moment we held her, I understood why God had pressed foster care on my heart, she was the reason.
The goal of foster care is always reunification, and while we loved her as our own, we knew she was not ours to keep. Supporting her biological parents was hard, but it was necessary. Foster care taught me quickly that you don’t just foster a child, you foster their whole family.
Then, just four days before Christmas, we got another call. This time, it was for a little boy who had already spent two years in foster care and needed a permanent home. His parental rights had been terminated, and he was looking for his forever family. We scrambled to get his room ready, picked him up that same day, and brought him home. That Christmas morning, surrounded by all the kids’ excitement, was the most joyful one I’ve ever known.
The following month, our baby girl returned to her biological parents. Saying goodbye was gut wrenching, but I knew it was right. We stepped in when she needed us, and then stepped back when it was time. We still keep in touch, and she’ll always have a place in our hearts.
Now, we’re preparing to adopt our little boy. I know the road won’t always be smooth, but he is ours in every way that matters. Foster care was supposed to be about helping children, but the truth is, it has transformed us. I’ve learned more about myself, my limits, and my faith than I ever thought possible.
This journey has reminded me that saying yes to God’s call often leads to places we never imagined. For us, it led to our son. And while I know there will be more ups and downs ahead, I also know we’ll keep saying yes because the next child who needs us is already part of God’s plan.
