Love just not only describes the feeling but a powerful feeling in chest. It is just an emotion or something that fades when things get tough though. Love is something you have. It is basically a decision, a commitment, a quiet act repeated action day after day. It is although choosing to show up when life would be easier to walk away. It is like being with someone when they are facing downfall to be there for someone. Love is also patient when life gets chaotic. It is the feeling when you are feeling alone you could be with someone at their worst.
I was born in Richmond, Virginia, by the time I was just four, and life had already knocked me around badly. I was somehow passed from house to house, living with anyone who could take me in at the time which was quite difficult for me. My parents could not look after me. Their struggles, their choices, left me in a place of instability and feeling of solitude. It was my grandmother who eventually showed up. She gave me the feeling of home took care of me. Even then, I spent much of my early life aching for the people who weren’t there wondering why I was not enough for them to stay.
I used to wait by windows looking for my parents, dreaming they had return and take me into their arms. I could realize at the time that the person who truly loved me was already standing beside me. My grandmother did not make grand speeches or offer dramatic shows of affection anyhow but she was there. Every meal, every bedtime, she was the one holding me together that’s how I felt what Love is.
It was not until I reached my teenage years that the idea of love came into my mind. One day I randomly wrote something, I think that came from always playing the role of protector especially for my little sister. I remember being just a toddler, the two of us left alone. Even then, I wanted to be the one who stayed.
More than 50 hours in a week, I constantly worked hard. Still, something was going undo, missing. One afternoon, I noticed a flyer that read, “Become a Foster Parent.” It was nothing flashy, just a slip of paper. But something hit in me. I was only 19, young by most standards, rules and I did not know much about parenting I was this small and I knew how it felt to long for someone who never came. I felt chosen by someone who loved me.
The agency did not cover it. They told me I might have to undergo a hard time being matched as a single, young man. But I stood constant. I wanted to give a child what I had gone through for my whole life, stability, care, and unconditional love.
As a teen, my first placement was tough. We could not interact the way I had hoped, and the placement ended after just six months. I felt discouraged but could not gave up. Then came my second placement, a seven-year-old white boy. I had my doubts along with him. I had never parented a child who didn’t look like me. Would we able to connect? Would he trust me? Why?
Still anyhow, I said yes.
I showed up. I listened. I stayed.
Over time, something extremely remarkable happened, I became his dad which I never imagined. That single decision to open my door and my heart changed almost everything. I did not stop there, determined. I later adopted two more boys, each with their own story. One came from Pennsylvania, the other had first been in my care for support. Each child brought their own laughter, struggles, and life lessons. My heart expanded in many ways I could ever imagine.
I am the father of three sons now. We are a family in every sense of the word not because we share blood, but because we chose one another we do not own an example of perfection but at least we love each other and guess what that is true love? It is real, rooted in actions and choices, not just feelings and emotions.
Today, I tell our story as often as I can not to get praise, but to inspire others. You do not have to be wealthy or married or have it all figured out, you just hit so many ways ultimately. A child does actually not need perfection they need presence. They need someone who stays who reconnects.
Love is calm, quiet, i have learned this, it shows up in small moments and everyday sacrifices. It does not always shout. It simply does.
In the end no matter whatever you get into a specific situation love’s always there to give you hand.
