On the 8th of June, it was supposed to be the most magical day of Chandley’s life, her wedding day. But, fate had decided something else for her, so she chose to save herself from a lifetime of abuse. Rather than officially having her first kiss as a couple, Chandley was there celebrating survival and strength, but she did not let her wedding dress go in vain either!
Three weeks before the wedding day, the realisation that the relationship was based on constant emotional abuse made her call off the wedding.
Although for years, she kept believing that he was her soulmate, and just like every other person in love, she kept ignoring her red flags by reassuring herself that no one is perfect. Four years passed, and all this time, it was just Chandley who thought she could fix things by giving him more love and working harder to make the relationship survive, but from the other side, little to no effort was seen.
To become the ”perfect girl” for him, all these years, she kept giving up on everything, from weekends to friendships. Everything was affected, and not knowing how and when, she lost herself, too. The Chandley who used to be happy about life and at ease most days was no longer.
The key reason behind all this was that the guy kept deciding for himself and Chandley. He was demanding what Chandley should do with her life; rather than being supportive, he passed judgment on whatever she tried to do.
The criticism made Chandley question herself. Was she not good enough at anything? However, not realizing that the man was the problem, Chandley decided to give the relationship time, as people say, time to heal and fix things. But things did not seem to get better; instead, the relationship kept getting worse, and the abuse accelerated. The engagement she had been manifesting for years was just another excuse the guy used to control her life and decisions.
Even when the wedding date was decided and preparations were underway, he showed little interest, and his only role was to ”criticise.” All the joys that were supposed to come with the wedding seemed to fade because of his behaviour, and Chandley started showing signs of detachment, realising how she would marry the wrong person.
The thought was scary; however, her heart clung to the fact that she had dreamed of a happy married life with the same man for many years. How could they leave everything behind when they were finally so close to getting married? Depression hit her, and while she was already having a hard time controlling her emotions, the couple got into a heated argument.
It was the lowest Chandley has been in her entire life, so she escaped the house through the window, although she lived on the second floor. She was so high on emotions that she thought of ending her life, so she drove to the Forestill. It was where the couple had their engagement photoshoot done, but thankfully, Chandley’s father and sister arrived right on time, calming her down.
It was the day.
After all that had happened, she knew all this abuse had to be stopped. Thus, she decided to end the engagement, and soon, on the day she was supposed to be walking down the aisle for him, she celebrated the day wearing her wedding dress. For her, it was the day of freedom. It felt like she was able to breathe after so many years. Now, she could make decisions for herself and have the strength to do all she wanted.
Chandley also hired a photographer for the day, as what would be captured was much stronger than any ordinary love story. It was a lesson for those going through emotional abuse; there is no right time to end things; it requires strength only!
Since the decision, although some days do get hard for Chandley, she has been rebuilding her life and healing all the scars. Working two jobs to get a graduation shoot done, she is doing it all by herself! Moreover, through all this, Chandley learned how vital mutual respect between a couple is.
Love is supposed to be your safe place rather than something you fear. It’s not about control, but the joy from lifting each other through the lows. Of course, she’ll get married someday, but before that, she chooses to build herself!
