McGee, a travel nurse, did enjoy her job because of deployment, but in 2020, when COVID-19 had taken over the world, seeing so much chaos and zipping body bags was distressing. This time, she was deployed to South Texas when the pandemic was at its peak, and the dynamics of how everything worked previously had already changed. This was also the time she went through a significant loss.
It was July of the same year, and she was zipping up body bags seven days a week. Where? Just a few miles away, on the Mexico border.
In her surroundings, there was chaos and disaster, as seeing so many people lose their lives every day left her drained. Despite not wanting to face her mortality, she had to do so, and while going through this tough period, she often questioned herself about what exactly she wanted from life.
Questioning herself, she underwent a self-analysis, and she knew exactly what she wanted: freedom! One thing that kept her away from experiencing new things and exploring the world was also the thing most dearest to her: Lauren’s engagement. And so, this time, she chose to follow the path of adventure and living life over love, and soon, she made the toughest decision of her life: to end the engagement.
The decision was tough as she was so in love with her fiancé, but the thought of unfulfilled dreams and burying her wishes was scarier.
Even after the engagement ended, thoughts about getting married did not leave her mind. What kept Lauren at peace was the fact that this was the only way she could do what she wanted to. There is no right time to get married and fall in love again, but once you grow older, you will never get a chance to experience the beauty of being young again.
She mustered up courage, packed her belongings, and was all set to embark on this new journey that she had chosen for herself. She was all set to travel abroad as a nurse, and the feeling of finally prioritizing herself and her dreams was the best thing ever.
After years of caring for others, she finally had time for herself. Lauren also mentioned that feeling stuck is an average human experience; her relationship made her feel this way. The urge to bring positive changes in her life was always there, and the step was necessary. What kept her a step away were fears- the fear of disappointing her loved ones and not doing well in life.
But once you choose something for yourself, you know uncertainty will be a permanent part of your life, which you may cherish.
At first, it was tough, but Lauren realised that choosing to live on her terms and not what society and the world have set for her is her best decision. New experiences and overcoming fears make you realize that you do not have to depend on anyone else and that the most reliable person is yourself. Travelling places and exploring the world made her realize she needed all this more than the engagement that kept her under stress.
Lauren’s journey is a beautiful example of overcoming and making decisions regardless of fear. When you live to fulfill others’ expectations, chances are high you will disappoint them. Let life excite you, and let your worries become the most beautiful experience of your life! For Lauren, letting go of love took years, but what she got in return was worth so much more: the experiences that would make her love being young forever.
