Friends who become family are rare, and for her, she was not just her best friend but the very first friend she remembers making. No matter what moment she recalls, she knows and clearly remembers how her best friend was a constant. Through the good and bad days, she held her tight, and now, she is going through the pain of letting her best friend go, one that will last forever.
From constantly yapping to her about her new crushes, what she plans in the future, and how they would travel the world together, to sitting blank after losing her to death, it all feels unreal yet, sometimes we are left with no choice but to bear the pain and accept certain things that are bound to happen.
We often hear people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder of each other, but by now, they already know that life without each other couldn’t be imagined, and every day, knowing how she will never be present again, is more painful. The pain keeps growing, and the ache is constant. Every day when she woke up, although her heart resisted, her mind knew there would be no text or a hundred missed calls from her best friend, and she had to keep going and growing, no matter how painful the journey gets.
It is something that her best friend had always wished for. However, she now lives the journey she had dreamt of living with her favourite companions. The instinct that screams within her to share all the happy and upsetting moments with her best friend still kicks in, yet nothing can be done. Whenever a good joke cracks in her mind, she knows who to share it with, yet her best friend is long gone. The pain of being unable to do something and having no control over it sometimes becomes unbearable. What would turn in a burst of laughter a while ago now leaves her in tears.
She still talks to her sometimes or at least pretends to, but what she gets back is silence. How her best friend knew her, no one does and ever can the same way. From the belly laugh to constantly knowing that she was loved and cared for was the best thing ever.
She took along with her all the secrets she had carried safely for years and never made her feel insecure. It felt like pieces from her past were carried away with her best friend’s soul. Losing her has changed her in ways she never thought were possible. Yet, with bittersweet memories, she chooses to live.
On days grief stings her more than usual, she reminds herself that how it is a worldly thing to experience loss, and it is okay to feel incomplete, as some blank spaces can never be filled.
Their sacrifice and love remind us never to take friendships for granted and hug them tighter and longer every time we meet. Now, she is alone, spending her life navigating the problems that previously were shared, and a solution is available in no time.
