Sometimes, one’s delusions and expectations can be in vain when something disappointing happens, as in Andrea Rappaport’s story. She had always fantasized about getting married and starting a family, as she thought it would bring happiness and stability in life; however, what she left with was multiple visits to the hospital and having high-functioning anxiety and panic attacks.
As per Andrea, she was in a relationship that could never be shaped into marriage. It’s true that when you are head over heels in love, all the red flags are consistently ignored. This is exactly what Andrea did, as she had dreamt of building a beautiful little family with the same man. There was no chemistry, but high emotions ended in a state she never imagined.
Years passed by, and the couple had two sons. In the beginning, she constantly ignored all the emotional abuse to keep the family going, and so the children were left unaffected. Over time, a significant realization hit Andrea that she would never be able to take care of and give the love her children deserve, as on most days she was constantly trying to get over the abuse and neglect she had to go through because of the marriage.
Thus, in 2020, the couple decided to part ways. The divorce process was chaotic, as it was conducted through Zoom calls while Andrea sat in her children’s room, near the closet, for years. She sobbed for hours and walked out of the room, pretending she was perfectly fine for the kids. With the same mental state, she patiently taught her kindergartener math and stated that she does not recommend it.
Analysing how the relationship had affected her so adversely was enough for her to realize that she needed to embark on the journey to heal. Since then, she has been dedicated to healing. The years of suppressed emotions would surely take time to unpack and get over, but Andrea knew she could do it, for herself and the kids. It was high time to prioritise her happiness, and this was done through two significant life changes. The first was that she allowed herself to do all that made her happy, and the second was by giving love another chance. This time, she knew she would not compromise, so she ended up with someone who looked at her with love, which she deserved.
However, this is not where her journey towards recovery ends. Andrea did not want to keep it personal, knowing how thousands of women struggle in relationships as they do not have their priorities and boundaries set. This was when Andrea decided she wanted to build a community of women going through a tough time, specifically those struggling in their marriage and relationships. Getting a divorce can be a challenging and isolating journey, as you see so many people not willing to stick with you.
Soon, Andra launched her podcast. Her friend Morgan was her main support behind ‘How not to suck at divorce’. She did not just record the podcast, including all that she went through in one episode. Still, she mixed the perfect amount of humor and guidance, so it is easier for the audience to process what they hear and can also help them navigate the legal challenges that may come their way.
Most people who decide to get a divorce are scared of the consequences, and although they do not realize it, guidance and a proper community to know that there are so many people out there going through similar challenges are much needed. At least Andrea and Morgan, two women, understand them and are there to support and love them through their journey. Women helping women must be the most potent thing we observe.
The podcast is a source of relief for many struggling women, and seeing all the positive comments about how the podcast has helped so many women emotionally makes Andrea feel like her journey was worth it. You don’t need to see divorce as an end to your happiness and love life; there is always better, but before that, know that you should prioritize yourself first!
