Sydnie’s story reminds us that forgiveness does not excuse what was done but frees the heart to reclaim peace. Sometimes, the most incredible power we hold is choosing love over anger, even when the world gives us every reason not to. The year 2022 was terrifying for Sydnie, as it was when she was caught up in a carjacking incident. She sat in the court as the man responsible for that moment was sentenced to an additional four years in prison, to run consecutively with the 8-17 years he had already received earlier this year for a drive-by shooting committed the day after her car was stolen.
As the judge read the sentence, she reflected not only on the trauma of that night but also on the letter she had written, one that was not simply about the anger she could not express. It was about the beauty of forgiving someone and becoming a glimmer of hope in someone’s life. In her letter, she admitted she had often wondered what she would say to the man if she ever had the chance. In the moment, she hadn’t spoken, silenced by fear. She had wanted to plead with him not to pull the trigger, to tell him that she was a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a friend, that killing her would mean taking away her son’s mother and leaving a space in the lives of those who loved her.
She wanted him to know how hard she had worked for her car, how proud she was of achieving that milestone alone. She never knew she feared death so much, until she encountered death so near. Sydnie shared pieces of her life, revealing they were not as different as they might seem.
At just two years old, her mother was in a serious accident, her father battled alcoholism, and she and her siblings were placed in foster care. Some of the homes were abusive, and when she aged out of the system, she was left to make her way in the world alone. She worked relentlessly to put herself through college and to build a career. Like him, she had choices to make, choices that could have kept her trapped in the cycle of hardship or allowed her to rise above it; she chose the latter. She told him he could have chosen the opposite.
Her letter didn’t end there, though. She reminded him that even now, in prison, he still had choices left. He could use his time behind bars to earn a diploma, invest in his education, learn skills, and work toward a better future, or he could continue down the same destructive path. And despite everything he had taken from her, she told him she would pray for him, for his peace, his family, and his future. Most importantly, she told him she forgave him and was grateful he chose not to shoot that night.
She acknowledged that people might wonder why she could extend forgiveness to someone who had nearly ended her life. The answer, she explained, came from her past. She had once carried deep anger at those who had hurt her, her mother, and her siblings, anger at God for not protecting them, at the system for failing them, and at her father for abandoning them.
That anger consumed her until she realized it only poisoned her heart. Holding on to rage gave less room for love. So Sydnie chose to stop letting her abusers steal her peace, even after the harm was done. This year marked 29 years since her mother’s accident, a milestone that reminded her how far she had come. Next year, she will have been out of the foster care system for as long as she was in it. That chapter of her life no longer defines her; it was part of her story, but not the main one.
Her life is hers to write, and she refuses to let anyone else hold the pen. Her words carried a striking balance of strength and compassion. They revealed a woman who had been through pain, fear, and loss, but who refused to allow bitterness to define her.
