We met in 2007, just after I graduated nursing school. A friend invited me to a bar, saying she had someone for me to meet. I wasn’t expecting much, but the second I saw him, time seemed to stop. I quietly told my friend, “I think I’m in love with him.” From that night forward, we were never apart.
We shared the same dream marriage, three kids, maybe even adoption one day. In October the next year, we got married barefoot by the ocean, surrounded by close family and friends, then honeymooned in the Bahamas.
I worked in a mother-baby unit, holding newborns every day, so we started trying right away. I assumed it would be easy. It wasn’t. Month after month, pregnancy tests were negative. A year later, we saw a specialist, but fertility treatments weren’t covered by insurance. For three years, we tried everything we could afford, with no success.
It was an emotional rollercoaster. I smiled politely when patients asked if I had kids, lying so I wouldn’t have to explain our pain. Baby showers were especially hard. The bitterness wore me down.
Finally, we tried an IUI, and after two agonizing days of waiting, we got the call we were pregnant. I cried with relief. In July 2010, I gave birth to our beautiful red-headed daughter, the answer to years of prayer.
When she turned one, we tried again. I was hopeful it would be easier this time, but it wasn’t. More treatments, more disappointment, more tears. In time, we came to understand that we couldn’t go on living in that same pattern.
That’s when we decided on foster care. After classes, background checks, and paperwork, we were certified. The first children placed with us were a five-year-old girl and her younger brother, who was still a toddler.
After a year, she returned to her family, but we still had her brother. Then came a six-week-old baby girl and soon after, her newborn sibling.
In 2018, we adopted all three children, and our family quickly grew from three members to six.
People often stare, curious about our family’s mix of one redhead and three African American children. Some ask rude questions, but I use those moments to share that adopting from foster care is free.
Foster care isn’t always easy, there’s loss, court decisions you may not agree with but it’s worth it. The love you give matters. I adore all four of my children. Looking back, I can’t imagine life any other way.
Babies may not come to you how you expect, but they come the way they’re meant to.
