There’s a familiar story we’ve all heard: a woman becomes a mother, and suddenly, her whole world revolves around her children. Her personal goals, ambitions, and passions get pushed aside because the expectation is that motherhood should consume everything. And while yes, children need love, time, and attention, they also need something else role models. They need to see their parents living fully, chasing dreams, and practicing self-love.
But when you’re knee deep in diapers, running between soccer practice and bedtime routines, or juggling work and family life, dreams feel far away. Thinking about your own goals feels impossible. It’s easy to push them aside “until later.” Here’s the truth, though being a mom doesn’t mean the end of your dreams. It might mean they take longer to achieve. It might mean late nights, early mornings, and a lot of sacrifice. But impossible? Not at all. I know this, because I lived it.
When I became pregnant, I was halfway through graduate school. Earning a master’s degree was one of my lifelong goals. But with a baby on the way and a husband finishing his undergraduate degree, it didn’t seem realistic. I even told myself, “I can always go back once the kids are older.” But the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. Why should mothers always put their dreams on hold until their children are grown?
So instead of shelving my goal, I came up with a plan. While pregnant, I doubled up on summer courses so I would have only one semester left after the baby was born. It wasn’t easy. My daughter arrived two weeks early, and I ended up taking finals while my husband waited outside in the car with our newborn, bringing her to me between exams so I could nurse her. Once the fall semester began, our days became a relay. My husband attended classes from morning until mid-afternoon, and as soon as he walked through the door, I handed him the baby and rushed off to my evening classes. It was exhausting, but I made it. I graduated. The grades weren’t perfect, but the dream was accomplished.
Not long after, my second child was born, and with him came a new dream I wanted to write a book. I’ve always been a passionate reader and writer, but with two children under three and a job from home, the idea seemed overwhelming. Again, I considered waiting until “later.” But I couldn’t shake it. I wanted to try. So I did. I wrote at night, often staying up until midnight or later. Progress was slow, but little by little, I finished. Three years later, I had published not one, but two books. Without kids, it probably would have taken me six months, but the longer road was worth it.
I believe it’s human nature to want progress. We want to see ourselves grow, to reach milestones, to feel proud of what we’ve accomplished. For moms, it’s often harder because society still holds onto outdated expectations. We’re told our role is to raise children, support our partners, and maybe if there’s time left over, pursue something for ourselves. But that’s not true. Not every mom has a husband. Not every mom even has the option to stay home. Some work full-time, some part-time, and some manage it all alone. But no matter the circumstance, we all share determination and resilience. Mothers are capable of reaching their dreams just like anyone else.
Of course, we can’t do it alone. One of the biggest myths is that dreams are achieved in isolation. In reality, everyone has help, mentors, friends, teachers, coworkers, and in our case, partners or family members who step in with childcare. I reached my master’s degree because my husband shared the parenting load and because a professor believed in me enough to support my dissertation. I reached my dream of publishing books because I had friends who encouraged me, helped me promote my work, and walked me through the process. And yes, I had my own grit and determination, but I wasn’t alone. None of us are.
The best part is that my kids have witnessed it. They’ve seen me working late, pushing through challenges, and celebrating milestones. My daughter once told me she was happy because I reached my dream, and it melted my heart. That’s what children want, to see their parents thrive. They need to know it’s okay to chase goals, even when life feels full and overwhelming.
Motherhood is hard, and it may slow your timeline, but it should never end your story. Dreams might take longer, require more effort, and stretch you thin, but that doesn’t mean they’re out of reach. Don’t wait until the kids are grown. Don’t convince yourself your happiness has to be postponed. You can be both, a loving mom and a woman with dreams worth fighting for.
