My daughter Brenna was born in March 1989. She was born quickly after two and half an hour. She was an astonishing baby and matured into a cheerful and spirited girl who enjoyed being with others and creating commotion.
Brenna enjoyed preschool and was very excited to start kindergarten. She liked to take the bus just like her big sister.
She did well in school, made new friends and was social as well. All was well until fifth grade, when she turned quit and sad. I believed it was due to her circle of friends shifting. Typically, she felt better after the summer vacation.
She found middle school to be more challenging. Brenna faced bullying due to her slender frame and misaligned teeth.
Initially, she was not prepared for braces, but once she received them, her teeth began shifting immediately. A treasured memory of mine is when she needed numerous baby teeth extracted all immediately. Unable to sleep, she and I stayed up together watching television. We discussed that evening for many years to come.
During eighth grade, Brenna faced challenges once more. She fell ill with what the doctor diagnosed as a severe stomach virus right before a dance competition in Florida. Though she felt weak and did not want to leave bed, she decided to take part of competition.
Upon returning, I contacted the doctor once more. He felt sorry for not realizing sooner that he was dealing with depression. Brenna was shifted to medications and saw a counselor, which helped her for a while.
Attending high school was challenging. She became poor in her studies and did not pass certain classes. During her 11th year, she took many pills and left a note. We rush to the hospital, where she stayed for many weeks. Subsequently, she transferred to a smaller school that allowed her to work at her own pace.
She completed her studies and graduated on schedule.Brenna attended college courses and held a job but continued to struggle with depression, intense PMS, and anxiety.
She moved to Florida for a beginning, spent three years there, and then went back home. She got a job, met a new boy named David, and in 2016 amazed us by announcing she was expecting. Doctors had suggested that pregnancy was unlikely due to PCOS. I felt very happy after becoming a grandmother.
She takes a break from her medications while pregnant to safeguard the baby but later started some again. The baby, David, also called “Diddle,” was born early but healthy. Brenna was a caring mother but faced sadness and sorrow.
In June 2017, Brenna took her own life. It comforts me she helped other’s life by donating her organ. I think of her every day but feel comfort in knowing she is with Jesus. I inform Diddle about her affection for him.
Losing her has been very painful, but I am thankful for the help from everyone. Mental health is real and needs understanding. My family joins suicide prevention walks to honor Brenna and helps others.
I love you, Brenna. I try to live in a way that makes you proud. I think about you daily.
