In the presence of mothers, the feeling of safety and protection is constant; however, for those who have never experienced the love of having a mom, life is hard for them. What’s worse? The loss of your mother. On special occasions, the feeling of emptiness one goes through is indescribable. The world is constantly grey instead of black and white, and on Mother’s Day, when you go out, you see flowers and gifts, but no longer have someone to give them to. Seeing complete families, smiling yet not knowing how precious the seemingly ordinary moments are, is a reminder of the emptiness you’ve gone through so often.
Liz recalls the day she got the phone call from her mother, the call she never wished to hear. It was just another typical day for Liz, and after a tiring day at work, Liz was ready to drive back to her beautiful mother. The phone rang. It was a call from her sister. What she said on the other side of the phone was unbelievable, a short phrase that took away her smile. Her sister told her how mom was no longer; she was gone, forever! In that moment, unable to process the information, she told her sister to shut up, but right after she cut the call, she blanked out, zone out, trying to wake up from the nightmare she had just been through.
She has a vivid memory of how hot the car was, and despite being pregnant, she sat in the burning vehicle while her pregnant belly touched the steering wheel, and he back was full of sweat. It was definitely not just because of the temperature, but also her body’s response to the news she had just heard. It felt like she could hear her heart pounding in her ears, and she got breathless, not knowing how to control what she felt. Right when she was trying to feel okay, a woman suddenly appeared outside her car, and it was the moment she realized reality could not be escaped. The woman looked scared for her, as her eyes showed concern, and she was constantly staring, analysing if Liz was okay. Then, Liz exhaled; something she had forgotten to do with the news she had received.
She realised how breathing felt like a victory after her mother’s death. Is this how she would spend the rest of her life? Yes, these are what the victories would like now. They would not be scoring a high grade or graduating, but gather the courage to get out of bed, trying to smile every once in a while, and on top of that was the art of learning to live without their mother, someone who selflessly loved Liz and taught her every little life skill. Now, suddenly, she had left, and Liz had to do it alone.
She realised there would be days in which she would feel defeated, too, but carrying on is your only option. You must constantly remind yourself how capable you are of getting over things. Then, after you lose your mother, Mother’s Day arrives, and seeing everyone post with their moms makes them the happiest, cherishing their presence. The ache is something you’ve never felt before in life. On that specific day, you’ll feel like you just lost your mother, and it’s day 1 of the healing journey.
Some days are heavier than others, but as time passes, you learn how to control what you feel—or at least you learn the art of pretending to be okay, as sympathies are unnecessary. Liz wants everyone without a mother to know how they are not alone, and how every ache and wave of sadness makes sense. You do not have to suppress your feelings; do not forget to be easy on yourself!
