I’d always felt deep down that motherhood was part of my future.
Losing my own mother at age five left me with just a few precious memories, but they shaped the kind of mother I hoped to be.
I met Patrick in 2006 when I was 18, and we married quickly. We dreamed of a big family. In 2009, we began trying for a baby, charting cycles, tracking every detail but after many negative tests, I wondered if motherhood just wasn’t in my future.
Courtesy of Tierra and Patrick Hamm
After moving several times, we tried again in 2015, even going through three failed rounds of infertility treatment. Around that time, a friend in foster care reached out, urging us to consider it. At first, I avoided the conversation out of fear, but when she told me children in our state were sleeping in hotels, something in me shifted. I just had to convince Patrick.
Courtesy of Tierra and Patrick Hamm
In January 2017, we began our training, and by June, we were officially licensed as foster parents.
A month later, we got our first call, a shy 15-month-old girl named Felicity who needed a new home. She cried almost nonstop the first day, and I wondered if we’d made a mistake. But soon she began calling us “Mommy” and “Daddy.” Though reunification was the goal, her biological mother eventually chose to surrender her rights, an act of love I’ll always honor.
Courtesy of Lauren Kial Photography
Nine months later, we were called about a newborn boy in the NICU. Samuel had been born severely drug-exposed and needed weeks of hospital care. Patrick even saved his life during one visit when he stopped breathing. Soon after Samuel came home, his birth mother told me she was expecting again. We hoped and prayed that the baby would be able to join his brother, and in December 2018, Judah came into the world.
We fought to keep the brothers together, and a week later, he was ours.
Courtesy of Lauren Kial Photography
Within 18 months, we became parents to three children under two. Felicity and Samuel’s adoptions were finalized in January 2020, and Judah’s in July.
We are a transracial family, and while our skin doesn’t match, our love does. We openly talk about race, identity, and culture, making sure our kids have role models who look like them.
Courtesy of Lauren Kial Photography
Foster care taught us that adoption isn’t always the plan, and love alone isn’t enough you need patience, education, and a willingness to walk through hard places. Our journey is rare, but I’m grateful for every step. We don’t know what fostering will look like in the future, but for now, we’re raising our kids, sharing our story, and reminding others that families don’t have to match to be real.
