Often, when a child is adopted, the parents try to hide the truth and keep them away from reality, and when it is finally time to reveal the truth, things mostly take a dramatic turn. However, Kim’s story is far from all this. She has no proper answer when people ask about her adoption journey. This is because she was never told about getting adopted. The parents made her acknowledge how it was a part of her story, and there was nothing to hide. Not just this, the parents also put in all the efforts and did everything they could for Kim so she could embrace her Korean heritage.
We took classes to learn a language, cooked Korean food, took Kim on a trip to Korea, and even connected her with other fellow adoptees. Despite getting adopted into a family that knew little about her heritage, Kim was able to experience everything and was thankful to be a part of the family where she felt safe and her culture was celebrated. She didn’t have a guidebook, but the family’s efforts made it possible.
Despite knowing about her adoption, Kim always cherished and loved her adoption journey. All her life, the love she got from her biological parents and adoptive parents felt like a blessing. However, as she grew up, she started to see the world from a broader perspective, and things got complicated. The problem was not her; her curiosity sparked when people around her asked her questions, to which she did not know how to respond.
She traveled on the school bus, and once, on her way back home, a boy asked if she, too, ate dogs, and a few others told her to open her eyes. Not only this, but being good with numbers, she was made fun of—all because she was Asian! All this made her experience discomfort that she had never experienced before in life, and undoubtedly, it was the worst thing ever. Not just this, when the Virginia Tech Shooting took place, Kim saw and painfully laughed when a class fellow labelled it as a crazy Korean guy. Kim all of a sudden wanted to isolate herself to escape how cruel people were being to her, for no reason.
Several other similar moments took place, and soon, it was time for Kim to join college. However, she did have better expectations until it was time to go to college; the microaggression had already been embedded due to the harsh remarks. She wanted to give up on her heritage, as the thought gave her a feeling of security. The fact that she was judged and rejected by the people around her was upsetting.
However, things took a turn in 2019 when she found a Korean band, BTS. Everyone around was seen obsessing over the music and every band member. Guess what? They were all from Korea, and when she got to know this, she felt proud of the culture she belonged to, and not just this, the urge to visit Korea to build a connection to her actual ‘Home’ was now present in her. All the disappointment and distance had vanished, and in the next few months, Kim was thriving while she learned her language with great love. Not just this, she was fond of watching Korean TV shows and was much more confident telling people about her identity, no matter the response.
It did cost her a lot. A few friends decided to turn away, but did they even deserve to be called friends? Seeing them leave made Kim stronger and encouraged her to be honest, hoping she would come across people who would love her for who she is and, above all, respect her culture.
The journey was not easy, as Kim always had to balance being a Korean-American and being a Korean-American. However, with her parents’ support and love for her culture, Kim could accept where she belonged and who she truly was. It’s worth it to be vulnerable and resilient!
