The only word that she could utter from her mouth was ”Good” when her daughters told her that she could die any moment. Was this what life was all about? Anorexia would now take Surina’sSurina’s life after her constant battle that began in 2018.
Since her diagnosis, Surina’sSurina’s life took a drastic turn, one that she could never have ever prepared for. Anorexia, an eating disorder, was diagnosed in 2018; however, the symptoms were seen early.
She was only 11 years old when she started obsessing over her appearance. It was not about her being physically fit but her facial features that made her feel beautiful. Surina took long hours to edit her pictures after she entered her teens, as even after applying layers of filters on the pictures, she did not feel pretty, and this was where all the chaos had started. Her teens took over all the self-confidence she had, and suffering began.
She started college at 18 and brought many positive lifestyle changes. Her favorite thing to do was connect with fitness communities online and regularly strength train. The sense of independence and confidence she got from it all was something she needed. In those days, Surina was able to maintain a healthy balance between what she ate and how much she needed to train until she learned about what a calorie count is.
In 2017, what was meant to keep her healthy was now going to change her life to an extent that the doctors would predict that Surina would not be able to make it through. Surina’sSurina’s feeling of empowerment had now turned into rigidness and restriction. Eating beyond the calorie count she had set for herself felt like an escape. Still, the compliments on her weight loss journey changed her perspective the other way round, as her perfectly balanced life was all about exercising like it was the only activity ever to exist, and barely eating.
In late 2018, Anorexia had already made things worse for her to a great extent. The habit of staying isolated has integrated into her life, and she feared the thought of having food and was scared to touch it. With each passing day, her condition was declining as suicidal thoughts slowly crept in. Surina shared how she hoped not to wake up the next day and had uncontrollable, deadly thoughts when she was near train tracks. The surprising part was when the bothered parents told her she could die this way, she agreed, as if she did not care.
In 2019, when her heart rate was dangerously high and abnormal, she was rushed to the hospital and ended up being admitted for weeks that eventually turned into nine whole months at the hospital. It was the start of her recovery period.
At first, she resisted and did not want to give up on her behavior, as she felt that no one wanted her around and was against her. However, with the support of her family clinging around and therapy, she started eating, or at least she tried to finish her meals. The therapies were more painful than usual on most days, and the treatment wasn’t easy as she had to stick to the fixed regime, which meant no independence or freedom or decision making.
However, Surina soon realised how all this had to happen if she wanted to heal and accepted how Anorexia, if aggravated further, could take her life. Thus, positive strategies that were healthier and would help her target the traumas she had were put into action.
By October 2019, when improvement was seen, Surina was finally discharged from the hospital. Although she gained healthy weight, her mental health was still not in a good place, yet she was already able to fight back. Surina has chosen social media to address when timely actions should be taken for timely and complete recovery. Moreover, she wants to break all stigmas attached to her condition, as no matter what, everyone deserves to live!
