A daughter getting picked up late from school, getting little to no attention at home, seeing her mum drunk and craving the love of her parents- it wouldn’t get worse. It was the day when, instead of going home from school, she took her to the bar. While the girl had to see her mom get drunk, she was given quarters to play pinball. After the game, all that she could do was wait.
The girl begged her mom to leave for hours, but it never worked. It was emotionally frustrating and too much for a child to go through. Not just this, sitting in the car all pale and scared while her drunk mom was driving was a daily challenge. What if they got into an accident or she got arrested? Did she not care about her daughter?
Every night, her pillow was wet from tears. What did she do to deserve a life of so much torment? She was never able to get love from her mother. Instead, she had to go through so much because of her. Every night, she promised never to be like her and dreamed of how life would be better if she had a father. At least he could protect and love her, like all other parents.
At the age of 14, she met her father in Oregon as her mother had to go to prison, but by that time, things had already soured. She started drinking, too. This was because she thought that if her mother saw her drink, she would stop, but this did not work either.
Meeting her father, a moment she had waited and dreamt of, was awkward. It felt like meeting a stranger. It’s all fictional and are delusions when we think of instant connections and emotions. She stayed with her dad for an entire year, but the place never felt like home, and the love she thought she would get was never there. Disappointed and frustrated, she left him because she couldn’t act normally after all that had happened. The damage was done.
After she left, rather than fixing things, everything became worse. She was a party addict just like her mom, dropped out of school, and even got pregnant at 16 with her husband. They separated when her son was 6 months old, and she joined the army.
She thought the strictness and rules could save her from all this, but whatever she did went wrong. She was given pills to get a hold of herself and her emotions, through which she learned to fake it all, but could never fix her habits. Her mom was the only person who could tell how she needed help.
The situation eventually made her leave the army, and now she seeks attention and love. In the process, she met a man who made her addicted to higher drugs and abused her son, which made him fall into a coma. Now life was all about living in tents, using meth, and selling her body.
A client became special to her, to whom she got married. This was a turning point in her life as she became sober after the marriage, but it failed three months after she got pregnant, and the relationship became abusive.
However, she got custody of her daughter, and the two older kids returned to their mother. Life has been good since then. She has been a responsible mother and sees every day as a chance to become a better mother and human. She is staying sober to fix herself now!
