In 2018, after trying to get pregnant for over a year, we saw a fertility doctor. Tests showed that my husband has Azoospermia, meaning he cannot father children biologically. It was tough news. We were heartbroken, but we did not give up.
We started looking into using donor sperm. Sadly, there were not many African American donors, and even fewer allowed contact with the child when they turned 18. Still, we chose a donor, but every time we tried, something went wrong. Shipments were delayed, or schedules did not line up.
Then one day, my best friend called and asked if we had ever adopt. Some thing she knew needed a parent to take care of their baby boy. A week later, we met our future son, Ezra, who was born 7 weeks early and in the NICU. He spent 3 weeks getting better in the hospital. I will never forget the joy when his feeding tube came out, we finally got to bring him home.
Sharing our adoption online brought lots of support, but also impolite comments. People asked if we were the nanny or why we adopted a white baby. It was painful, but we stayed focused on growing our family.
A few months later, we learned about embryo donation. We still wanted to experience pregnancy, and embryo donation gave us that chance. We joined a website that connects donors and families. Soon, we were matched with a generous couple who gave us three embryos. Another local couple offered five more!
In August 2020, we transferred two embryos. A week later, I got a positive pregnancy test we were thrilled! Sadly, I miscarried just three days later. It hurt deeply, but we did not give up.
In September, we transferred two more embryos. A few days later, I tested again and saw a faint line. I FaceTimed our donor to take the test together, and it said PREGNANT! Weeks later, we had an ultrasound and saw TWO heartbeats. We were having twins!
At 31 weeks, I felt pressure and went to the hospital. I was already 4 cm dilated! They had to take me by plane to a different hospital. After two days of trying to stop labor, the doctors delivered our twin girls, Journee and Destinee, by C-section. They weighed just over 3 pounds and stayed in the NICU for a month.
It was hard balancing recovery, NICU visits, and time with Ezra. But finally, our girls came home. Now they are 8 months old, strong and happy. Ezra is a proud big brother.
We have faced many challenges, but we are so thankful. If you are having trouble having a baby, keep it up and do not get sad or upset, and never give up. There is still hope, and love will find a way.
