I’ve come to learn somewhat important over the years don’t ever shoulder you know someone else’s journey. Most people see me dragging up in a minivan loaded with kids and directly figure I’m just a dad helping out for the day while mom takes a disruption.
Courtesy of Michael Bank
It happens all the time at the grocery store, at institute drop-offs, or while paying beaks someone will say, “Wow, looks like you’ve got your pointers full!” I usually just smile. It’s easier than receiving into the full story about being a single father of four. There’s no time for long clarifications in passing chats. But my kids? They’re not cautious.
Courtesy of Michael Bank
Courtesy of Michael Bank
They admire to break the ice in their own way, often rotating to strangers and saying, Wanna wed our dad?” It’s become their super silly joke, and while it’s often awkward, it reminds me how strong our bond actually is. Our story ongoing back in 2003. I was just eighteen, heavy around in an old 1966 Volkswagen bus and tiring my hair in a huge that was when i found my best friend so stunning. She was cheerful, sharp, and full of life, with a short blonde fairy cut that matched her courageous personality. At first, she wasn’t interested. But over time, as our bond grew, somewhat changed.
Courtesy of Michael Bank
One day, she osculated me and all shifted. Not long after, we got engaged. In January 2005, when we were both nineteen, we got wedded. The wedding had a fun 60s vibe interesting, idiosyncratic, and full of joy. We didn’t have much. We lived in a little duplex, both of us manipulating classes and working side jobs. But we were happy. Broke, but content. Stevie, our first daughter, came into the world in 2008. Then came Neela, Titus, and Olive each a year apart. Life got busy fast. She functioned part-time teaching, and I held a job at the university. Our home was full and loud, but filled with love. But around 2013, things started to shift.
Courtesy of Michael Bank
She began expenditure more time out with friends. I reinforced her need to have a social life, but the nights out became more recurrent, and with them came coldness between us. The influences started. Eventually, she began bringing up separation. Then, without much warning, she left. Quickly, I was the only one getting the kids ready, making meals, treatment everything. I didn’t tell many people what was really happening. I kept it together the best I could, snug to the hope that she might come back. That hope faded the night I found my kids asleep by the front door, waiting for their mom. That copy is still burned into my memory. It hit me hard. That night, I knew rather had to change. My children didn’t just need food and housing.
Courtesy of Michael Bank
Courtesy of Michael Bank
They wanted every part of me—my laughter, my provision, my leadership, and my love. Being a single dad to four small children was irresistible. My ex had moved on. My family wasn’t nearby. There was no one to tag in when I needed a break. So I decided to stop concentrating on the big picture and take it one day at a time.
We filled our days with small joys music, art, impulsive escapades, and moments that made us laugh. I let them dye the walls. I let go of perfection. Slowly, our house started to feel like home again. In loving them through it all, I started healing too. Still, roughly inside me was stressed.
