The first time I had to use an EpiPen on my son, I froze. He was struggling to breathe, and my hands were shaking so badly I couldn’t remember what to do. My mom sat beside me on the kitchen floor, pleading, “Let’s just try Benadryl first.” I knew better but fear took over. Somehow, I managed to grab the new EpiPen, the kind that talks you through it, and I prayed out loud, “Thank you, Jesus.” I held my son down, pressed the pen to his thigh, and counted, “Three… two… one…” Suddenly, he could breathe again.
The relief was instant but the trauma stuck with all of us. My younger son’s life had been saved, but my older son had watched everything unfold from the next room. The next time it happened, he hid in his room, covering his ears to block out his brother’s cries. Food allergies aren’t just hard they’re terrifying. Unless you’ve lived it, it’s impossible to understand what it’s like to fear every meal.
My journey with all this started long before the EpiPen. My pregnancy with Jase wasn’t easy, and after he was born, things quickly became complicated. He struggled with reflux, eczema, blood in his stools, and constant screaming after eating. No doctor could give me real answers. They tossed around words like “intolerance” and “colitis” and sent us home with samples of formula. But I couldn’t give up nursing. I was determined to figure out what foods were causing his pain.
So I started cutting foods out of my diet, one by one. I lived on oatmeal, blueberries, bananas, sausage, and rice every single day for eight long months. I got so tired of those meals that I’d gag just trying to swallow another bite. My weight dropped under 100 pounds, but I refused to give up. I would’ve done anything to keep him safe.
When it came time to introduce solids, Jase reacted to almost every single food. It wasn’t normal. By the time he turned one, he was reacting even to the few “safe” foods I’d been eating. I was exhausted, starving, and heartbroken. Eventually, I had to stop nursing and switch him to formula, which brought a whole new set of struggles. Formula was expensive unaffordable without help but through grants and assistance, God provided.
Finally, we found an answer. Jase had something called FPIES Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome. It wasn’t the classic version with vomiting and shock; it was a chronic form that made him react to almost everything. By the age of two, he had only two safe foods: lamb and mango. Watching your child live like that changes you.
Then came my second son, Eli. I prayed he’d be spared, but he wasn’t. He had FPIES too. Once again, I went through months of elimination diets, exhaustion, and prayer. But this time, by God’s grace, both boys eventually began to grow out of it. Slowly, new foods became safe. I cried every time they ate something new without reacting.
Even now, both boys still have multiple food allergies dairy, eggs, wheat, peanuts, soy, and more. We live every day on alert. I’ve made mistakes, too. One night, I accidentally gave Eli the wrong chicken fingers, and he went into anaphylaxis. I’ve never felt such guilt in my life. It broke me. But in the middle of that heartbreak, I found strength.
Through all of this, my faith has carried me. I’ve learned to cook and bake everything from scratch. I’ve learned to advocate, to educate others, and to see the beauty in our trials. Most of all, I’ve learned that God never wastes pain. He’s turned our hardest moments into opportunities to help others understand what living with food allergies really means.
This life is hard, but it’s ours and by God’s grace, we’re still standing.
