“My name is Michele Shuster and I am a 30 year old dancer, choreographer, director, arts educator, and body positive advocate. What’s a body positive advocate, you may ask? Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but for me it is the assertion all people deserve to have a positive body image, regardless of how society and popular culture view ideal shape, size, and appearance. My goals are simple: we must challenge how society views the body, promote the acceptance of our bodies, help people build confidence and acceptance of their own body, and address unrealistic body standards. Naysayers would have you believe I am promoting a culture of obesity and celebrate those who are living unhealthy lives. That simply is not the case. My story takes us back to a little 9-year-old Ginger in Winnipeg, Manitoba in Canada.
at ten i got my period early gained weight rapidly and stood out a dance convention.
Time goes on, and a trend begins to emerge. I would win dance competitions and conventions, get to compete with many solos, but then be put behind other kids in group numbers. I asked my mom why was I being punished in the groups? She explained it wasn’t a punishment, but some of my teachers felt the way we look is not what a competition judge wants. I told heri learned that others assumption about my body didn’t define me i could prove them wrong.
The next few years continued in a similar fashion. I would compete and win as a soloist and be shoved in the back in groups to make room for the skinnier dancers. Eventually, we moved to another dance studio to train under new teachers. I had an incredibly strict ballet mistress who was on me to suck in my stomach, more, and more, and more. I knew what she was saying, but I was trying my best. I jumped as high and as long as the other girls, why couldn’t she see this won but my teacher suggested i only stood out because of my appearance and it hurt
I began to drastically pull away from my friends and my family. I became very down and extremely hard on myself. This is where my eating disorder started. It wasn’t easy at first. At the time, I was going to an arts high school, dancing 7 days a week, and doing all workshops I could do to get out of class with that teacher. I would eat lunch and sneak off to be sick felt trapped exhausted and deeply ashamed
i struggled birth body image but learned to prioritize health over size growing more confident in my dance abilities.
I flew down to Toronto and had 5 days of auditions all set up and ready. I check into my hotel, get a great night’s sleep, and wake up ready to show this University what I got. I get to the audition studio and everyone around me has the perfect body. I doubt myself for a minute but push through they doubted me at first, but my talent won them over and i made the class of 2012
I thanked them and walked out of the room. I picked up my bag and my coat and silently walked to the hotel without really processing it. I called my mom and told her everything. I remember repeating the words and bursting into tears. It had happened again.
Now let’s jump ahead. I auditioned and was accepted to a school for music theatre performance. On the first dance of classes, I was only singled out as the only first year in the highest level of dance and nothing else. Months passed and we had Thanksgiving weekend. I came into class on the Tuesday, and my ballet teacher corrected my posture at the barre. She patted my tummy and said, ‘Thanksgiving was not good for you… too much turkey.’ I was stunned. I froze. She made other little comments to a few students, but no one said anything. I made sure to start wearing an extra pair of tights to seem a bit slimmer, and she didn’t really say anything again. I felt myself drifting into old habits and would skip a meal or two. The ones I was eating, I was immediately purging.
End of first semester, we sat down one on one with her and discussed our marks and our progress. I was told although I was very good, I would never make it because my body was so wrong for dance. She mentioned my friend in class who was stunning. ‘She’s 5’11, and very slender. If you looked like her, then maybe you could make this work.’ I didn’t fight back, I didn’t say much, I walked out of the room and burst into tears. I stood up became a body positive advocated
after graduating I worked hard to prove talent matters more than body size, despite facing body shaming. I keep going to make it easier for the next generation
I never remember seeing anyone who looked like me on stage. Never. I saw people in fat suits. I saw chubby male performers being the butt of every joke. I saw Tracy Turnblad, the one fat icon in music theatre. That was it. I want to be the change that makes sure all bodies are represented on stage. So that little 10-year-old dancer goes to see a musical, sees me, and thinks, ‘If she can do it, I can do it.’ The number of times I’ve been stopped at the stage door by an audience member who wanted to say ‘thank you for being up there’ is in the hundreds.
i fight for those who feel unheard pushing through tough days to help others feel confident even if I can’t change everyone mind helping just a few is success
