I became a mom at 9, caring for my younger siblings while my dad slept off his nights of drinking, and after being abandoned at 13, I vowed to always put my future children first and never break their trust.
That all changed in April of 2012 when I met my now-husband. He was perfect in every way, but he already had a daughter from a previous relationship. This was completely against what I had promised myself. I didn’t want a blended family, and I didn’t want to put a child through anything I was.
I couldn’t fathom it. I almost didn’t go on that first date with him. But then, everything changed. I fell in love with him and fell even harder when I met his little girl. This little girl with chubby cheeks and crazy curly hair became my world. She was my little monkey, and I was her ‘Mimi,’ as she couldn’t say Amy, yet. I was head-over-heels for the two of them, and I haven’t looked back since.
Of course, being in a ‘mom mode’ for a decade already, taking charge came naturally when it came to Emma, but it got me into a lot of unnecessary problems. I was overstepping a lot of unspoken boundaries all bonus mamas should know. Being only 19, I was unaware of these boundaries, I was just doing what I thought I should.
Unfortunately, this caused a strain on the relationship with her mother and at the time, I couldn’t understand it but looking back now, she was right. I was overstepping and if I were her, I probably would have been upset too.
As many blended families do, we went through the custody battles, had a lot of highs, had a lot of lows. The hardest part of it all was after a year of being a residential parent, the judge re-awarded her, and it felt as though our family was ripped apart. I was pregnant with our third son at that time, and I made myself physically sick for days because of it all. My heart still hurts from that time. 4 years later, I am happy to say we have grown since then and have been able to put aside differences to work for the best interest of Emma and that feels so good!
You’ve experienced the full rollercoaster of parenthood six kids, surprises like twins, and the joy of a big, bustling family that you always dreamed of proving life’s twists can bring the most unforgettable moments.
When it comes to the size of our family, we’re always laughed at. The comments are made with good intentions, I’m sure, but what they don’t know is we love our chaos. When a few kids are away and the house is just a few octaves off, it just doesn’t feel right. When it’s just the two of us, we really have no clue what to do. We may have a ton of kids, but we have a ton of love.
Having a big family isn’t always ideal especially when it comes to the grocery bill, but we were made for this. Even as a blended family I could never see myself having, this is our ‘Organized Chaos’ and we love it. Honestly, if we could have more kids, we probably would.
It’s funny how kids change you. You feel one way but then you see that positive pregnancy test and everything changes. You start to wonder how you are going to create more room in your heart for another baby. You wonder who they are going to be, are you going to be a good parent, will they like you? You wonder if you’re going to be able to afford another mouth to feed or have enough room to add another bed in the bedrooms.
You worry about all the things that could go wrong and pray your baby will never be hurt. But just like the others, the new babe fits right in, and you didn’t have to make room in your heart because somehow your heart just grows even bigger.
I have learned many things through the last almost decade of parenting my own kids, I’m sure I could write a book! I can tell you the store brand diapers work better than almost any other, the same for their wipes. That kids don’t need everything they ask for, but if they ask for your time you need to make it for them no matter how busy you are.
That TV is a great babysitter when you need to have 30 minutes of alone time with your spouse, but if you leave them alone too long, you will find your child covered head to toe in diaper rash cream. Your house will NEVER be clean so just accept it now, that perfect house on Pinterest is only clean in that little square, trust me.
Parenting is hard and messy, and it’s okay to ask for help, laugh through the chaos, and give yourself grace because these kids were handpicked for you, and even the tough days are part of the journey.
