We saw our son’s adoption files and we got to know that he was ours, and we all felt overwhelmed with joy and gratitude after this news.
Those pictures were savoured, and our hearts began to ache a bit more with each passing month. He was our son, and we wanted him home. The first year went by, and we were hopeful it would be the only Christmas without him in our home. Waiting for email dings and refreshing the Korean court website became our hobbies.
We celebrated every little milestone in the process just to keep us from going crazy. Then, the email we were waiting for finally came! We had a court date at the end of November, and we were going to meet our son!
Meeting our son for the first time carried a lot of thoughts and emotions. Seeing his little face through the window instantly brought tears to our eyes! There he was! We were in the same country, city, building, as our SON! It was exciting, nerve-wracking, joyous, and even a little awkward.
The language barrier, the foster family watching you interact, and the social workers talking to the family in a language you can’t understand makes you wonder if they are analysing your every move. It was a little intimidating. Nevertheless, it was an experience we will never forget.
Although Calvin was hesitant and shy, we caught a few smiles, and I was able to hold his hand. We left our first visit hopeful and counting down minutes for the next. Our second visit was much smoother and even felt a tad normal. Calvin was much more receptive to us, and while typical visits last only an hour, we were able to stay for two! We played hard with him, working for every little giggle! Marcus pretended to slam his fingers in a toy car for over 30 minutes just because Calvin thought it was hilarious! Leaving him the second time was much harder, knowing we wouldn’t see him again until our next trip.
We had a tearful goodbye as we watched his foster mom put him in the stroller and cross the street. I wanted to follow her so badly! Our court date was the next day, and the judge asked us quite a few questions about our intent and desire for our son. It was such a relief to complete this part of the trip.
Traveling home, we thought we would be back within the month to finally bring Calvin home. We celebrated Thanksgiving with hope, knowing this would be the last holiday without him in our arms. Unfortunately, the process got delayed and Christmas felt a bit heavy that year. No one quite understood the ache we had in our hearts to have him home.
We distracted ourselves with a few house projects to see something come to completion. It wasn’t until the end of January we finally got the call we could go get our son! I couldn’t pack our bags fast enough! We left less than a week later. That day a snowstorm came, and flights were getting delayed. We were reassured we would make our connecting flight to Seoul with plenty of time.
After a ferocious sprint through the Detroit airport, we arrived at our gate to see the plane still on the ground, but the gates closed. We had missed our connection. With lungs still burning, I fell to my knees and wept. It was loud, dramatic, and obnoxious, but I was a mom wanting and longing for her son, and I felt completely hopeless to get to him.
After a long journey to Seoul, we finally brought Calvin home, holding him close to us and beginning our life together as a family.
Calvin slept well and I stayed up with my thoughts the entire night. He was finally here, sleeping next to me. Years of prayers were now answered! How could I possibly sleep? The flight home, Calvin slept for all of us. He only woke to eat, and then either slept or pretended to sleep for most of the flight.
A flight we will later take for granted, but you’ll have to keep reading to figure this out. Marcus and I whispered back and forth over our sleeping boy the intense relief we were heading home, and the fact we would never be doing this again.
The process was long and hard. It brought us to our knees in so many ways, and we didn’t think we would ever be able to do it again. In hushed, sleepy voices, we created our extreme stipulations for a second adoption. We would only consider a second adoption if we could guarantee the same foster family, the same social worker, and maybe a little girl.
Pretty impossible, given little girls were uncommon at the time for Korean adoptions, and you could never have the power to select a foster family. We didn’t give it much more thought and returned our gaze to our boy. He was finally ours, and we were headed home for good.
As we made our descension into Grand Rapids, our knees bounced, and our now-known friend adrenaline kicked back into our sleep-deprived minds and bodies as we prepared to introduce Calvin to our family and friends waiting in the lobby.
As we walked down the terminal, the grins turned to smiles, which turned to tears and gasps, as we saw the crowd of people waiting to welcome our son home. Balloons, flags, banners, and happy faces cheered as Calvin saw strangers and we saw familiar faces. Evelyn was brought to us, and we had our first moment as a family of four.
Shortly after bringing Calvin home, we were blessed to adopt Jane, uniting our family and trusting God’s perfect plan.
