Diagnosed with PCOS and later endometriosis, I endured years of infertility treatments before choosing open adoption with my loving husband.
We watched this beautiful boy come into this world… it was incredible. I was the first to hold him, and we spent those 3 days in the hospital loving on that sweet little angel. We left the night before papers were to be signed to go to a family celebration. While at the dinner table, in front of all our friends and family, we received the worst call of our entire lives. She decided to parent.
The sweet boy I had grown to love and call my own was gone, just like that. We were ruined. I cried for days without stopping. I didn’t know if I would ever be the same. We couldn’t even go home.
There was a nursery all set up ready to go for a baby who was no longer in my arms. We stayed with Kurt’s parents for a few days until the family cleaned up his room and locked everything inside. Only a week later, with some hesitation on my side, we had our profile published again.
On Halloween of 2012, we received a call from a family friend saying she had an expectant mother who wanted to meet with us. We met that night and she had told us she was in an abusive relationship and had decided to place her son with us! We were elated. She was also just 5 months along and was due at the end of February of 2013. We went through the process again and we grew an INCREDIBLE relationship with this sweet woman.
The time came and our sweet boy was here. She texted us a picture and said it was time to come and meet our son! We rushed to the hospital as quickly as we could. We had found out shortly before his birth father decided to petition for parental rights. We knew this could be a long battle, however, due to the circumstances, we were ready for it. We left the hospital with the sweet baby boy in tow, and legal guardianship and temporary custody over him.
The first night at home was SLEEPLESS, to say the least. We couldn’t keep our eyes off him. The next morning, we, once again, received that devastating call. She told us she couldn’t go through with it and decided she was going to parent him. As devastated as we were, we knew our child was still out there waiting for us.
So back online we went! We continued the process of working on US! We knew if we were prepared, IT WOULD HAPPEN! I remember lying in bed one night, crying as usual, and making the conscious decision right then and there enough was enough. It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and it was time to be happy, no matter the outcome.
I had an incredible man by my side, and no one could stop us! I leaned over, grabbed the giant glass of water I had on the nightstand, and poured it all over Kurt. This started the most epic, indoor 1:00 a.m. water fight of all time! It was times like this that reminded me I was going to be okay. I got an incredible new job, and Kurt and I were able to move into our dream home!
On Father’s Day 2013, we were matched with our son Jax, born premature but healthy, completing our loving, extended family through open adoption.
Jax loves his birth family so much and we are so grateful to have the relationship with them that we do. Open adoption isn’t always easy, but it is so worth it. Seeing his birth family’s eyes light up every time they see and hug him makes everything worth it! The love between all of them is incredible.
After adopting Jax, we had the hard choice to make of whether to adopt again or to be done. Kurt and I always wanted four children. After lots of therapy, reflection on past events, and lots of 1:00 a.m. conversations, we decided we would stay a family of three. We started focusing on making the most of what we had and choosing happiness above all else. At the time, my husband and I were both extremely overweight and we made the decision, to provide the best life possible for Jax, to focus on our health.
We both made the decision, in 2019, to undergo gastric bypass surgery. Within months, Kurt and I both lost over 100 pounds. I had some severe health issues, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, chronic migraines, arthritis, PCOS, endometriosis, etc. Within 3 months after weight loss surgery, they were ALL under control! I had my life back.
After over 10 years of infertility, I was finally pregnant in 2020, giving birth to our daughter Piper and completing our family.
