For two years, my adopted son gave me a real challenge at school. I spent countless days sitting with him in the office, getting phone calls to pick him up, and reading one write-up after another. Trauma leaves its mark on a child, making life messy, difficult, and full of uncertainty.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
No handbook exists for raising a child who has been hurt by abuse and neglect. You can’t prepare for it. All I’ve learned is that you need a lot of grace and when you think you’re out, you have to go find more.
One day, before the adoption was final, I got yet another call: “He’s having a bad day. Can you come?” I made the 30-minute drive to the school, bracing myself for the worst.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
But when I arrived, he just asked if he could get a race car for Christmas and a game for his birthday in March. It seemed ridiculous in that moment, but I realized it wasn’t about gifts. It was about safety. If I promised him those things, he knew he’d still be here. No one would take him away, at least for a while.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
We eventually faced a hard choice stay in the only school where everyone knew our story, or move to a new district for better opportunities. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to start over with strangers. But someone I trust encouraged me to step into the unknown. So I did scared, but willing.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
We began attending the new schools three weeks ago.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
When the principal called, my heart sank. I braced for bad news. Instead, he told me my son had been “written up” for being ready to learn, kind, courageous, polite, and hardworking. I cried, ugly cried, right there on the phone.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
After so many lows, this was a high I couldn’t stop celebrating. The principal called me a wonderful parent, though most days I feel like I’m failing. But maybe that’s all of us, we second-guess everything, wondering if beauty can rise from the mess.
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
Sometimes we need to be saved whether it’s from a situation, from others, or even from ourselves. And while the path is never easy, if you trust the process, you might one day look back and see how far you’ve come.
New Life Photography by Elisabeth Mills
Courtesy of Madeline Crawford
I didn’t choose this story, but I’m grateful for it. Watching my boys grow, heal, and fight their way out of darkness is the greatest gift I could have imagined. This is just the beginning.
