Less than two years ago, we were in the hospital with our 4-month-old baby boy. At the same time, we held the hand of a woman giving birth to another baby boy, who we would also care for as our son. We were surprised but delighted to receive baby twin boys born just four months apart. We feel very thankful that we have open adoptions and that we stay in touch regularly with the birth families.
Last year, Sean, the biological brother of our youngest son, asked if he could visit us for ten days. What was meant to be a brief visit lasted the entire summer. At the end of summer, he decided to try out for the football team and asked his mom if he could live with us during the school year. She agreed, as long as it was what he wanted. After living with us for seven months, Sean reconnected with his biological father and moved in with him this January. We still talk, message, and FaceTime with Sean often. We immensely love and care about him, and he plans to revisit us next summer.
We are busy with our four kids and have always hoped to add a daughter to our family of six sons. We think we will start the adoption process again soon. We stay in close contact with our birth moms because they feel like part of our family. But last week, we got a very different message.
Ellis’ biological mother has been a single parent for almost 15 years and has faced many challenges and problems alone. With no family and support nearby, she has always put her children first. But now, she needed help herself. She had missed work a few times because she didn’t have reliable childcare and felt uncomfortable leaving her 5-year-old daughter with any other. After thinking carefully and lovingly, she asked if we could care for her daughter for a while. This would give her time to get back on her feet and build a better future for herself and her kids.
We got the message early on a Tuesday morning. By 8 a.m., my husband and I bought a one-way plane ticket for the little girl to Utah. This was not just any flight. My dad, who only travels once a year for work, was flying to St. Louis the same week. He was close enough to visit them.
On Thursday night, my dad took an Uber to their place and knocked on the door. He had never met our son’s birth mother or siblings before, but they welcomed him with a lot of love and hugs. They FaceTimed us as they headed to the airport. My 61-year-old dad traveled across the country with a happy and talkative 5-year-old girl on her first flight, her first trip away from St. Louis.
Their flight was delayed, and they didn’t arrive at our house until 2 a.m. We waited up with smiles and welcomed Ellis’s biological sister warmly and kindly, Skylar. Ellis knew she was there because he woke up just seconds after she arrived. They had never seen each other face to face before since we left the hospital with him 20 months before. When they saw each other, they hugged tightly and instantly understood how much they cared and loved each other
We have loved her in the three days since Skylar came to live with us. She brought a new kind of joy and brightness to our home, which is mainly filled with boys. Our house rarely sees ribbons, pink unicorns, or glittery things made for little girls.
We don’t know how long she will stay with us, but she is part of our family now. We will do everything we can for her, her mom, and all of Ellis’ biological siblings. We are grateful for this chance for our son to spend time with his older sister.
We talk to her mom daily and are happy she can use this time to improve her life. It’s always hard to ask for help, especially when all other options have closed. This is why we are so thankful for open adoption..
