She was sitting in a courtroom on October 18th, 2018, flanked by the people she loved most in the world, facing a man she once thought loved her. He promised her that he would keep her safe from harm, but became the embodiment of her nightmare instead.
He intended to leave a mark on her that would serve as a warning for her future boyfriend. It was a painful da,y but one that marked a closure. It was a day she would always be grateful for because it marked the end of a harrowing trial during which she received prayers and well-wishes from all over the world. There was a moment of closure when she promised herself she would never forget the lessons she learned from it: always be careful about whom you trust, because evil does not always look like evil. October 21st, 2017, was the day that took a piece of her.
Everything she had seen was etched into her memory. Through her tears, she could see she was sitting in her own puddle of blood, her mouth on fire with her dry lips, confusion and terror washing over her, thinking she might not make it out alive. A part of her wanted it all to be over at that very instant. Earlier, she had told Seth that she didn’t come there for reconciliation—not yet—that she needed him to make things right. Their fight escalated quickly. They threw flowers and greeting cards at each other. She tried walking away. Once she refused his kiss and pushed him away, his grip on her fell into place, and she screamed for help. He pulled her from her car, shoved her car door into her face, and ran. Even then, he kept calling her while she was on her way to the ambulance with something precious brutally torn from her grasp.
Strangers saved her life that night. A man petrified with fear, an old woman with a soothing presence, and some officers who grasped the gravity at once. While riding in the ambulance, she was asked to call her mother. She couldn’t. Her mother was seven hours away on her first vacation without her. When she tried to tell a friend what happened, she found no words to express herself. She remembered looking out of the back doors of the ambulance, through which she couldn’t see them reaching the hospital. Until now, hearing sirens takes her back to that time. When she awoke, a nurse made a joke to lighten her mood. Then a mask was placed over her face, and reality set in. There would be no return to everyday life.
For months, she blamed herself. Then she realized that the reality was that this was what happened when she said no. When she chose herself, she was once made to believe she was property belonging to the same person. Taking the step to walk away was the wisest step she has ever taken—and the exact point when he lost control. She had been only seventeen when the relationship began, naive and in love with her first serious boyfriend. When times were good, they were great. When times were bad, they were terrifying. Getting out of the relationship never happened easily; staying would have been fatal.
The consequences shook every aspect of her world. College took a backseat, and scholarships slipped away. Her mother moved the family from their residence because the street name reminded her of the attacks that sent her spiraling into terror. Driving in the neighborhood made no sense. She was locked away in a dark room, scrolling through social media. Comparing her life to others’, she thought she belonged nowhere in the world. Scars dotted her body, but made her think she resembled a monster. Meals were torture. Sleep was torture. Even today, late-night calls from a GPS tracking service set off alarms in her heart because they haven’t been able to trace him.
One day, she had a vision of having a big family. Currently, fear dominates her vision. One thing about her life that has been altered by violence without mercy—she refuses to give him more. Happiness should be hers anyway She will wear her scars like wings. She will remain strong and kind and rise above. Kayla Hayes is no longer a victim. Kayla Hayes is a survivor.
