When I was 15, I found out I was going to have a baby. It was July 2005, and I remember the shock, fear, and disbelief swirling through me. My parents found out shortly after, when I accidentally handed them a note intended for the baby’s father. In it, I shared my fears and worries, and how abortion was never an option for me.
Courtesy of Brittany Whatley
That evening my dad and stepmom confronted me. I denied it at first, unable to speak, until finally, when asked outright if I was pregnant, a nervous laugh escaped me. That night they suggested adoption. I couldn’t accept it. In my mind, I had already pictured a life with this baby , a hard life: yes, but filled with love. Giving her away was unimaginable.
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Weeks later, they sent me to a maternity home in Virginia. The plan had already been made: adoption. I felt powerless. At the home, I saw the life books of prospective families, each filled with loving pictures and stories. I picked a family, feeling a small sense of control. But before meeting them, my father took me out of the home and chose a family for me. My heartbreak was immense.
Courtesy of Brittany Whatley
I met my daughter the night of my 16th birthday. She was beautiful and though I couldn’t hold her or I could see her and it tore me apart to leave the hospital without her. The months afterward were lonely and confusing. I was homeschooled, isolated from friends and later sent to a Christian boarding school. Life felt rigid and distant from the family I had lost.
Years passed. I moved around worked and struggled but eventually found stability in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I discovered a church community that became a family, providing support, love, and grace I had never experienced.
Then, years later, I saw a post on social media from J’s adoptive mother. Our families were going to the same place, Disney World at the same time. The coincidence felt miraculous. We met there, and seeing her for the first time since the hospital and now 14, was overwhelming. She is brilliant, creative and full of joy. Her parents have been loving and generous, allowing me to slowly become part of her life.
Courtesy of Brittany Whatley
Today, I run my own hair business, pour into my community and maintain a relationship with J’s family. My life’s path has been challenging and tumultuous, but it has also been enriched with unexpected moments of beauty. It has taught me that even the hardest paths can lead to hope, healing, and beauty.
