I thought June 8th, 2019 would be the happiest day of my life, the day I married my best friend and started a beautiful new chapter. I imagined waking up excited, walking down the aisle, and celebrating with family and friends. But that never happened. Just twenty-one days before the wedding, I decided to cancel everything.
It took me four years to accept that the man I loved was not the man I could marry. Our life together wouldn’t have been peaceful or supportive. When we started dating in 2015, I felt lucky, special, like I had won a prize.
But from the start, there were red flags I chose to ignore. He gave ultimatums and wanted constant control. In college, I drove hours every weekend to see him because he refused to do long distance. I worked near his home, cleaned his house, bought groceries, and cooked our meals. If I forgot anything or didn’t meet his standards, he’d get angry.
He monitored where I was and who I was with. If I didn’t answer his calls right away, I’d face an interrogation. Seeing my family instead of him caused fights. Slowly, my world shrank. I missed out on so much of college life, no games, no parties, no real friendships because I spent my time meeting his demands.
After graduation, I moved in with him full time. I hoped things would get better, but they didn’t. Even when he proposed, I thought I had finally “earned” my place as his wife. Outwardly, our life looked perfect, but inside I was breaking. He still criticized me constantly, limited my time with my family, and pressured me about school and chores.
One heated argument that day drove me right over the edge.
I felt hopeless and even considered ending my life. Thankfully, my dad and sister saved me from that moment. It was in that moment I realized I couldn’t stay any longer.
Now, my life looks different. I still have dreams, grad school, my career, and a future where I’m valued. I’m learning to set boundaries and rebuild my self-worth. I have a loving support system that helped me survive and continues to lift me up.
On June 8th, 2019, instead of a wedding, I put on my dress for a photo shoot that celebrated my strength. Surrounded by family and friends, I realized my worth is not defined by a relationship.
To every woman reading this, no one is worth sacrificing your happiness, freedom, or self-respect. Real love respects, supports, and uplifts you. I’m focusing now on faith, goals, and the people who truly care. Maybe one day I’ll marry again, but for now, I’m choosing me.
