I spent almost 12 years with someone I probably should not have married. He never hit me, but he made me feel unloved and unwanted.
I kept trying, loving harder, staying positive, but nothing changed. He barely touched me, always worked late, and we constantly argued about my weight, my dreams, and money. Most nights, I cried myself to sleep. In March 2016, I reached my limit and knew it was the time to move on in my life.
Leaving was the hardest thing i have ever done. It nearly broke me. I had tried so hard to make things work that walking away felt like giving up on everything I believed in. For a while, I did not even recognize myself. I hurt people, made bad choices, and felt numb. Luckily, that dark time did not last long.
In May, I joined Tinder. A friend asked why I did not take time to be alone after such a long marriage. But honestly, i had felt more alone in that marriage than I could explain. I wanted a real connection.
That is when Adam messaged me, on Mother’s Day. He was nice, and I feel comfortable talking with him. He jokes a lot to make me laugh. It took us three weeks to meet thanks to his night shifts. On our first date, he talked about his big family, he is one of nine! I had to draw a family tree on a napkin to keep up. As we kept talking, I felt more connected to him than i had ever felt with anyone.
We were both divorced and did not want to get married again. We just wanted something real, where both people chose to be there every day, not because of a ring, but because they truly wanted to.
That summer was tough. My ex wanted to fix things, and the guilt weighed on me. I felt like I was failing my faith. A friend told me something i will never forget: “there is nothing you can do to make God love you more or less.
Don’t resent your faith, find your happiness.” Adam was supportive. He said he had be there for me no matter what I decided. I gave counseling with my ex a shot, but deep down, I knew it was over.
Adam and I kept dating. When my lease ended, I moved in. By May, we were talking about kids. I knew he had be a great dad, and i had wanted to be a mom for years. In June, I got the job that I always hoped for, becoming a school principal.
In November, my pregnancy report learned that I was expecting. I used the napkin from our first date to surprise him with a new addition to the family tree.
Our daughter was born in August. Right before, I was returned to my job; I lost my job. But Adam stood strong. He worked long shifts, supported us, and never stopped showing love, bringing flowers, helping around the house, and being my partner in every way. We are now expecting baby number two.
If you are in a painful relationship, know this: real love exists. Find someone who truly shows up for you. I found that in Adam, and you can find it too.
