At 39 years old, my journey towards motherhood has been different and emotional. But I still really want to be a mom. In 2015, my physician told me that my egg supply was limited and advised me to act quickly if I hoped to have children. Due to specific health issues, I was forced to postpone attempting until January 2017.
At that time, I thoughtfully selected a sperm donor and made plans to raise a child alone. y in a miscarriage at six weeks in February 2017. A few months later, I was excited to discover I was expecting twins. I was excited but nervous and worried about carrying two babies alone; I learned that I was expecting a boy and a girl. I considered myself lucky to have a boy and a girl.
At 16 weeks, I had contractions and bleeding. I was feeling so scared, confused, and nervous, so I went to the hospital as soon as possible. The ultrasound indicated that the babies were fine, but my doctor informed me that I was already in labor. I was in disbelief about what was occurring. Not long after, my son Buchanan arrived, and three hours later, my daughter Leonor, who was called Nori, was stillborn. They were perfectly born, and losing them was so unbearable for me that I never imagined.
Even though I was feeling so broken and sad that same night, I asked my doctor if I could try again. I realized I needed to persist. Grieving for my little ones while still wishing for another opportunity was difficult. I feared this could be my sole chance.
Two weeks later, I tuned into Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry on television and had a deep urge for a sign from my children. The next day, I planned to get their footprint tattooed. The tattoo shop shopkeeper took my footprint card, and when he came back, he was crying and saying that my grandmother’s name was Lenor Buchanan, the same name as my twins. I was stunned and reassured. It seemed like a sign from my little ones, conveying that they were fine.
Subsequently, the test result showed me that my infection caused my early labor, yet something seemed off. I went back to my specialist, and following additional tests, he informed me that I had a unicornuate uterus—a rare condition where only parts of the uterus form. Most women with this condition typically possess only one kidney, ovary, and fallopian tube. The news was frightening, yet my doctor still thought I could bear a child.
I discovered support groups that assisted me in maintaining hope. After trying IUI four times unsuccessfully, my doctor told me to try IVF. At 39, I knew I couldn’t get it longer, so I was prepared to continue striving for my aspiration of being a mother.
